It just passed... This date... "The" date that specifically changed my life; my sexual assault. This is my oath to myself -- to stay strong.
What have I learned through this experience?
Yes, at this time I was underage and I should have not consumed alcohol, but this did not give anyone the right to take advantage of me. I was not "asking" for it and I was not wanting it. I learned that people will assume what they want to. After the police were called, I had to make a decision. Should I go through with pressing charges? I learned that pressing charges was one of the most powerful and liberating experiences for myself, it gave me a voice. I learned that you are probably going to lose many friends. Either these friends do not believe you or, frankly, they did not care. Trust me, you do not want them in your life anyway. I learned that people are going to choose sides -- you do not want these people, either. I learned that receiving help was in no way taboo, it actually showed me direction and helped me overcome my own insecurities. I learned that you will probably not be able to forget the whole situation, no matter how bad you want to repress those memories. I learned that I want to be a psychologist and work with victims of crime. I want to help people. I learned that I am a strong woman and I will not let anyone hold me back. I am not a victim, I am a survivor.
My Oath:
1) I will NOT be afraid to be alone at night.
Following my attack, I was afraid to do anything at night, even drive. Years later, this is coming to a stop.
2) I will not question victims of crime.
Why were you drinking? Why were you wearing a short dress? It was 2 A.M., why were you out? Just don't -- again, let's teach people NOT to rape.
3) I will be there for anyone who needs me.
I will drive to help -- even if it is hours away. Just call me, I'm here.
4) I will not slut-shame and insinuate that you "wanted it."
A woman can be abstinent or she can choose to have multiple partners in a week. That is her choice. This does not determine if she was "asking" for it. Rape is rape.
5) I will stand for a movement.
I will help survivors. I will make a difference in the world.
"You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you're still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory." - Steve Maraboli
