On Sunday, October 1, 2017 the U.S. had its worst modern mass shooting yet. I say yet because it seems like we have another one that tops the last one in its death toll every year.

I was numb to it. I saw the article at 11 p.m.

I saw that there was a shooting in Vegas. I hung out with my friends and went to bed around 2 a.m. The last thing I looked at was the headline on Twitter. Nine dead, 200 injured.

A few hours later, I woke up and checked my phone instinctively. Fifty-nine dead, 500+ injured. And counting.

I was numb. It shocked me for a millisecond as it dawned on me that this was the deadliest one. But then I accepted it. Of course. Of course, another mass shooting. It's "Pray for Orlando" then it's "Prayers for Vegas" and now we wait for the next.

And then 2 hours later my campus went into lockdown.

"Active Shooter Situation at the University of Southern California Campus"

On my way to the bathroom, I got a DPS campus alert text. I saw as everyone around me got it too but we ignored it and continued on our way. But the "incident resolution" text never came. All of a sudden I received messages from people in my class to come back right away. I returned. There were fewer people on my way back.

The door was locked, I knocked.

A girl asked who it was. I entered a dark room, everyone was sitting with their heads down, a girl was crying, another was shaking. "What's going on?"

"There's a gunman on campus."

All of a sudden my heart skipped a beat. I froze.

"S.W.A.T. is here."

I became painfully aware of the sounds of what felt like a hundred helicopters directly overhead. I heard yelling outside on the courtyard.

"They haven't caught them yet in here."

Later we would learn that it was a false report. A teacher had had a breakdown and told all the students that they were going to get shot and they needed to call the police.

But it felt so real. I lost track of time.

It might have been an hour, it might have been half an hour. It was terrifying. My professor started a quiet discourse about gun control and Vegas. A girl crawled under the table. "I don't feel safe sitting in the open" A boy watched the live-stream on silent and gave updates. People called their parents. People texted their friends and family. I sent "I love you" to those I loved.

We were terrified. I just heard crying and panic attacks and helicopters and yelling outside. We could be dead within minutes, there was no way to know.

Why do we live like this? There is no reason for civilians to have the kinds of guns Stephen Paddock had. He murdered 60 people and injured almost 600. One man did this in 11 minutes from half a mile away. He had 18 firearms in his hotel room at the Mandalay Hotel. Authorities found 18 more in his home. They might as well be weapons of mass destruction. There is no reason on this earth that an ordinary person needs to possess 3 dozen fully automatic assault rifles.

Monday morning the danger at the University of Southern California wasn't real. But the danger was real in Las Vegas, the danger was real in Orlando, the danger was real at Aurora. The danger was real at Virginia Tech and Sandy Hook and Luby's Cafeteria. The danger was real in San Bernardino and Fort Hood and Columbine.

The danger has been real for the 461 people killed in mass shootings in the U.S. this year.

We can pray and we can shed tears but this requires action. Call your reps. Oppose the SHARE act. Be vocal. We as a nation need to stand up for ourselves because our government is failing to protect us.