I think it needs to be mentioned that i'm a pretty indecisive human being when it comes to making choices. I'm notorious for being that one person who takes 25 minutes to order food at a restaurant because there are SO many good choices. Ok, i know it's not fair to for everyone to wait but hey it's a process ok?  So when the question was proposed to me for the first time at 16 years old "What do you want to do after high school?" I froze. "Uh I couldn't decide if I was wearing makeup today or not, let alone commit to a profession for LIFE" I thought to myself as my English teacher was welcoming us back for our senior year of high school. AKA: The beginning of a long journey to discover what I truly wanted to pursue.

So, I Wanted To Declare As a Photography Major

I adored....No, I still adore and love photography. However in high school, I used to take all kind of photos and get so excited over finally getting that one perfect macro shot of a flower after 49 shots. Photography also helped me express things in ways that sometimes words just couldn't do. It helped me learn to look at the world in different perspectives. Trees told stories with their colorful leaves and their fragile limbs. A small raindrop against a puddle looked like a bullet hitting the ground, causing a wave of echos. It was my escape, for every awful day at school I would take photos  and edit them from 2:30-11:00 at night. My favorite pictures to take used to be portraits, because a face speaks a whole story. However none of my family and friends wanted to pose.

So I was determined to make this after school hobby into my career, I graduated high school with  immense optimism and an entire plan from start to finish in college. This included specific classes, possible internships, and even a couple of companies I would consider applying to after getting my bachelor's. Now I go to a Community College so i didn't "officially" declare that specific major, but this is what I was going to declare when I transfer.

Then things started to change when I took my first photography class freshmen year. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad class. The professor and I just had er....creative differences, he would always lecture about how photos "had to follow specific rules" while I preferred to be more liberal in my work. I didn't believe in photos having "rules". I remember getting critiqued for this one photo of a clarinet with a light paint background. The direction of the light was vertical instead horizontal and it bothered him so much. "I just don't like the way it looks" he said disapprovingly in front of the class as my photo was projected at the front of the class. However, I realized that while I can disagree with his teachings all I want, this is what I had to prepare for in this field. Sure I would be able to input ideas, but my job would be to shoot for someone else not what I would  want to shoot. If I had a client that didn't liked how a photo looked, they would have every right to say so and it would have to be changed. This is when I knew that as much as I appreciate photography, it was time to start thinking about other majors to pursue.

Now Here's Where I Fall In Love With Major #2

During that same year, I was going through something pretty drastic in my life. I was overweight for most of my childhood into my late teens. I had decided to finally take charge and determined to lose the weight. Something I wanted to do for so long, and in March 2016, I did just that and lost 70 pounds. To this day, I consider it to be one of my biggest achievements. During this process, I had also taken a Nutrition class my spring semester. So personally, I felt inspired to go into this field and help other people with their weight loss goals. 

I was supposed to be ready to finish my last year at Community College, all set with my new major set in stone to transfer with. Then life happened and it set me way back. I experienced real grief for the first time and I didn't take it very well. I rethought my whole life, the choices I made, and yes this includes my major as well. I had thought about doing Culinary for 2 seconds but never acted on it.

This Is The Part Where I Finally Commit

On Christmas, I was in charge of watching a little kid at my house. I heard my family collectively comment as they watched me. "She's so good with small kids" "She would be such a good elementary teacher". Now I didn't agree at first, In fact I didn't want be a teacher because I loathed school so much I never wanted to step foot on a campus again after college. However I began to critically consider this an option because I was blindly taking gen eds and I really wanted to transfer already. When I reflect on why I hated school, That was my "eureka" moment. The reason why I had such a negative outlook from the start was because I vividly remembered being in my kindergarten class feeling scared and confused sitting in a classroom being away from mommy and daddy for the first time. I didn't adjust very well and my teacher interpreted this as me being a "troublemaker" rather than just being scared. Looking back at my whole school career, I really wished I could've been able to enjoy it more because I don't think school is the worst place in the world....especially if you have enough teachers who are passionate about what they do. I wanted to be a person that showed children that school isn't a bad place, I want to take my negative experience and ensure that no child has to go through that, Do I think this will be an easy career? Of course not, It takes immense patience to work with children, but I enjoy interacting with them. The way they see the world is so interesting and being able to watch them grow and develop is something that sounds so rewarding. So *drum rolls* I officially declared as an Early Childhood Education Major. I plan on transferring to a 4 year school next year to get my B.S. in Elementary Education. *Takes big sigh of relief for knowing what major I want to finally officially declare in*.

My Advice To Anyone Who Doesn't Know What To Major In:

It's 100% normal, you aren't alone. What you want to do at 17/18 vs 19/20/21 changes drastically and people switch more commonly than you think. After high school, you're exposed to so many new things and it makes you really think about how many opportunities you really have. Relax, because I can guarantee you will have your own "eureka" moment when you least expect it.