Dear Ex-Boyfriend,
I'm writing this letter for closure. Not for you, because I know you don't need it, but for me. See, I know that the day we (officially) broke up, you got all the damn closure you'd been searching for for months. Over a year later, I'm still searching for it, but I won't let myself be dragged down by it anymore. So I'm writing to you to let you know that I am not the same person you fell for, loved, and broke. And yet, despite how broken you made me feel, I am beyond thankful for our relationship.
Our relationship was the hardest one I’ve faced. We knew from the start that our relationship wasn't going to be easy. We faced unique challenges that most high schoolers don't have to deal with, along with the normal high school problems. Most kids our age had people to rely on for advice, but no one, and I mean no one, could relate to our problems. Our friends and family pushed us in the wrong direction. So, I want to thank you for teaching me that sometimes a relationship is best kept within the relationship, because not everyone has your best interests in hand when giving you advice.
You made me question my worth and value. I became jealous, paranoid, and depressed. I turned into an ugly version of myself I'd never seen before. I want to thank you for putting me in that state because I then had to learn how to pick myself up again.
You chose another girl over me. It lingered over our relationship for months, and once we finally broke up, I had to watch you two carrying on while I felt broken. Looking back, I realize now that you were picking her the whole time. So many nights I stayed up into the early mornings, but you weren't there. Instead, I stayed up with my anxiety, which manifested itself into physical sickness, while you were probably asleep. I want to thank you for showing me the warning signs of a toxic relationship, because now I never let another guy treat me like that.
You made me feel alone. Despite all of the amazing people and opportunities I had in my life, I somehow let you have the power to make me feel lonelier than ever. It was in these moments that I discovered who I wanted to be and what kind of guy I wanted to be with. Thank you for making me realize that that guy wasn't you.
More than anything else, though, this is actually a thank you letter to myself. I am the one who carried myself through the heartbreak, who picked myself up off of the bathroom floor, and turned my pain into prosperity.
I don't expect you to ever read this. Aside from Instagram likes and Snapchat story views, we no longer exist in each other's lives, and that is more than okay with me. I’ve come to accept that you will live your life and I will live mine, and it’s unlikely they will ever cross paths again. But, if you ever do read this, I want you to know that I no longer seek closure, because I found the love you were incapable of providing in myself instead.
Love, Your Ex-Girlfriend
