Since my entering into this world I have been an ultimate champion of procrastinating. It took me far too long to start walking and even longer to throw away the pacifier. The procrastination was brought to a higher level when I entered school. All through Middle and High school when I did complete my homework it was either the very night before or in my homeroom or first period the day of. As you can tell through my long description I have always waited until the last minute. It is one of my families many special traits.
When I first moved away from home and started my new college journey at MTSU I made a promise to myself to keep my number one goal in life. That of course was to eliminate or at least weaken my procrastinating. I realized that keeping my grades up mattered so much more than it did in high school. Now, I had my future, my career, and my money to think about.
I did not want to do a semester or even a full year and end up having to come back home because I epically failed. I wanted to prove everyone wrong and actually succeed at this because I knew that many were skeptical however for good reason.
As I now look back at my first college year I am actually proud to say that my uncontrollable Habit was limited. Although my time management improved significantly it was still not where I wanted it to be. I finished the year with a pretty good GPA. When I had assignments and projects they were and almost always graded a B or higher but I still most likely did not do them until the night before or even hours before.
This steady procrastination has done nothing but negative in my life. It has given me unnecessary stress and has kept me from my truest potential. Even though I do try on stuff in my life I just think they could turn out better if I gave myself more time. I could actually research more and learn more from things like school assignments.
It has kept me from accomplishing important goals I have set in my life. I set up these goals that look so lovely in my mind and I have every intention of seeing them play out. For example, I will try to regularly do things like going to the gym, keeping my car clean, doing school work at a proper, writing every night, etc. For the first week or even month, I will be on fire until I find myself giving in to procrastination's lies. I will tell myself I'll do it tonight or the next until I find myself not doing them at all.
I feel like most of this bad habit comes from being afraid to fail while at the same time not wanting to succeed. I am very afraid that I will spend a ton of time and effort doing something and end up failing anyway. So that has made me play it safe or in other words, do nothing. If I do not do anything then I will never fail.
Lately, I have been trying to remind my self that that failing can be okay. Sometimes it is just a part of life. All I can do is try as hard as I can and give it everything I have. Even though what I am trying to do may not work out I will still have the reward of giving something my all.
I have also been trying to pray to God about it more. Breaking a bad habit takes more than self-discipline. You can not do it entirely on your own and will always need help.
With all that being said at this point in my life I see now how much I could get and accomplish if I demolished my procrastinating. In all honesty, I am going to sometimes wait until the last minute because I am only human, but I want to stay true to my word, learn more out of life, and be able to do more for not only myself but for others as well. As I mature and grow up I hope to find a way to live my life with more motivation and less procrastinating.
