Throughout our lives, we meet new people and make a plethora of friends. These friends might be formed in class, on a sports team, at a school club, at work, from going to the same parties every Friday or from living on the same floor or in the same building.
As we grow older, the friends we have made over the years tend to be more refined than when we were younger and just wanted someone to hang out with. Now, friends are kept because you enjoy their company, not just because of convenience. But that begs the question, how do you decide who to keep and who to let go?
If you’re anything like me, you see this question as loaded. It is not answered with a simple yes or no. Instead, you are required to do some deep thinking in order to ensure you’re making the right choices.
For me, the issue lies in determining if I have given the friendship my all or if I barely paid it any attention. If you look at a friendship and realize you haven’t been the best friend you could be, maybe it’s time to give it your all or think about why you didn’t in the first place.
The “weeding of friends” process may take longer than just a day, and it might not look like a clean break either. You have to get down to the nitty-gritty aspects of friendship, and for me, that’s seeing that they care.
Having a “friend” who doesn’t care about you is probably more toxic than you think. Yes, you might have spent a lot of time together over the years and shared fantastic memories. But, that doesn’t mean that they deserve to be a part of your forever.
Trust me when I say I know it’s hard to let go of something that means so much to you, but you have to remember that your happiness is the main concern. If your so called “friend” doesn’t put you on the same silver platter, it’s time to let them go.
But how do you let them go? Do you send them a break-up text that says you’re done? Do you try to reason with them and attempt to solve the problem? Or do you ever so slowly let them fade away, steadily erasing them from your mind?
Of course, every person is different and that is for you to decide. In my opinion, allowing them to fade away lets you see how much they care. You might realize that you were the one always making plans to get together, or that you asked them questions about their day but never received the same curiosity.
Maybe you were always there when they needed you but they were never around when the tables were turned, or the memories you could never forget happened to slip from their mind like it was a piece of garbage to be thrown away. Ultimately, you’ll realize that you kept this friendship going when in reality, it’s a two way street.
I know letting go of someone you thought would be there forever is tough. Quite honestly, it’ll hurt when you see them and don’t even say hello anymore thinking about all the memories you once shared. But in the end you’ll be much happier realizing you were able to find your real forever friends. So do yourself a favor and get rid of the friends who don't care about you and focus your time on the ones who do.
