Not Everyone Is Going To Like Me

Not Everyone Is Going To Like Me

And I am fine with that.

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Throughout your life, you are going to meet so many new people. Not all of the people you meet are going to like you. We want everyone to like us, but we shouldn't. I know it is easier said than done, but believe me, you will feel so much better if you stop begging people to like you. That has been a very hard pill for me to swallow. For all my life pretty much, I have always been concerned about whether or not my presence was enjoyed or appreciated by those around me. I have a really bad habit of trying to please everyone around me. Having the approval of others has always been a priority for me. When I meet someone, I try my very best to give a great first impression. I tend to care way too much about what others think of me. One thing I have had to learn is that when I invest myself too much into what others think of me, it messes with me mentally, and it causes me to overthink to the point of over stressing myself out.

I have always had a big issue with self-doubt. When it comes to having self-confidence, I can never find any in myself. It is a big problem. I act in a way to eliminate all the negative disapproval comments around me, and it is really sad when I think about it. When this happens, I eliminate all of the endless opportunities, lifestyles, and directions around me. I have so many goals and aspirations that I have always kept to myself, all because I was afraid of getting judged or laughed at. I tend to always worry my self to death about what other's opinions are of me. That is not the way to live. I am having to realize that I am sacrificing myself and my dreams to try and impress others around me, whose opinions should not matter. I need to learn that the only opinions I should care about are those of my own.

Caring too much about the way others look at us or think of us messes with our ability to try new things and take risks. What I have learned to do is embrace those who judge me, speak ill of me, or criticize me. Why waste time begging for people to love you when you can spend that time loving yourself.

Not being liked by every person who crosses your path does not mean you are unlikeable by any means. It does not mean you are anything less than great. Be true to yourself. Get more comfortable with yourself and your feelings. Stop judging yourself based off of what others say about you. Learn to say "not everyone is going to like me, and that is fine with me". You will feel so good once you start telling yourself that. It sure has made me look at life with a whole new perspective.

"Everyone is going to have an opinion on you; not everyone is going to like you. You can't live your life based on other people's opinions of you or let that change what you do or how you feel about yourself, because then you are not living" - Rumer Willis

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I'm Not A Fan Of The Body Positivity Movement

Be the change you want to see in yourself.
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What is body positivity? Body positivity focuses on empowering people to be more loving and open to their bodies instead of constantly putting themselves down. I am a prime suspect in hating my own body. Whenever I look at myself in the mirror, I point out all my flaws. My thighs, butt, rolls, and even sometimes, my face.

There are countless body positivity movements and I was on board with almost all of them. It is important to never belittle yourself. Always stay true to who you are. That's why my point of view drastically changed on body image and learning to self-love. Body positivity is about loving your body, but if you don't love your body because you're too fat, too skinny, too stout, or not pretty enough, then instead of teaching yourself not to say anything bad, why don't you change it?

Instead of ripping me to shreds, hear me out. I'm known for eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream. In fact, whenever I stroll into the gas station down the street, the clerk knows that I am going straight to the freezer for my ice cream fix. I don't eat some of it and put it back in the freezer when I get home. No, I eat it all. And I hate myself for it. But then, I see an empowering on Facebook about respecting your body. So my empowered self goes out and grabs two more pints of ice cream and I remind myself that it's my body and I can do what I want with it.

What happens now? I'm ten pounds heavier and a little bit closer to obesity or any other weight-related diseases such as diabetes. The body positivity movement is wonderful, but it's missing one thing: if you don't like those extra pounds, get rid of them. If you really don't think you're pretty enough, buy that expensive makeup. Because you can do whatever you want with your body.

Going on a diet plan/exercise plan CAN be beneficial. If you have a habit of going extreme and end up starving yourself, stop reading and please consult a doctor. I'm not promoting anorexia, bulimia, or any other eating disorder. This is not me saying to you that you need to workout twice a day and only eat lettuce for the rest of your life. I'm not telling you to do anything.

But if you don't like it when you eat that pint of ice cream and that whole box of Oreos, be like me and start a plan where you eat half of that pint and only a couple Oreos a week.

One more important thing in the body positivity movement: self-care. Take care of your body, put the right nutrients inside. Don't go to the gym every single day killing yourself on the treadmill. If you don't feel like going to the gym, take a walk around your neighborhood or even to the mailbox. Don't load up on junk food and fast food. Eat a sandwich and opt for the side salad instead of the bag of potato chips at Panera. It's all about caring for your own body. Don't just sit there and hate on your body. It's your body and you can do what you want with it.

So get up (or not) and put down those Oreos and Diet Coke. Because you can change. Yes, you can. It's all up to you. No one else but your beautiful self.



Cover Image Credit: Christopher Campbell

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11 Things You NEVER Say To A College Girl Trying To Get Into Shape

Just never talk about a person's weight.

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When my family and friends joked that I was going to gain 15 pounds in my freshman year of college as a result of the "Freshman 15," I thought it was what it was supposed to be: a joke. However, as the year has come to an end, I realized that I actually did put on a couple of pounds, albeit it wasn't the predicted 15.

As I told those that I wanted to get into an ideal shape for my body, I was met with some insensitive and ignorant remarks. Everyone thought that I mean just losing the weight I had put on.

1. "You walk to all of your classes, why aren't you losing weight that way?"

My legs are more toned than they ever have been before. However, most of the weight I have been gaining has gone directly to my gut (annoying!) and walking does not remedy that. Unfortunately, I have to stick to ab workouts.

2. "But you look fine to me!"

I don't feel healthy to myself. I'm not trying to stay in shape for anyone else, just myself, thanks. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better about my body image but I know something has to be done.

3. "I didn't gain any weight in college."

Good for you. I did. I'm trying to do something about it.

4. "Just stop drinking."

I don't drink. Really, the only liquid I consume is water or iced tea. I don't like soda and alcohol makes me nauseous way too easily.

5. "Isn't the gym free on campus for students?"

Yes, but some people don't like working out in front of others. I am one of those people. My friend lives in an apartment complex that has their own gym and almost no one is ever there but not everyone has that luxury. Also, some are busy and do not have time for a quick jog or to stretch.

6. "You should try this diet/pills/exercise routine."

I am thankful that you are trying to help but my diet is just eating healthy and having a few cheat days in between. I know what exercises work best for me and I am just not taking pills. Bodies adjust differently.

7. "Don't starve/force yourself to throw up."

Trust me, I know. I'm trying to lose the weight healthily. If you do find yourself practicing unhealthy eating habits or realizing your body image is deteriorating, the NEDA Hotline is (800) 931-2237. Please reach out if you are going through hardships.

8. "Won't you have to buy a whole new wardrobe?"

If I drop (or even add) a size or two. We grow out and grow tired of clothes on the regular, what's the difference if you have to buy some because of a weight change? Plus, who doesn't love buying new clothes?

9. "Just eat healthier."

Didn't think of it! Options are limited at college where the dining halls don't offer all that much that is actually good for your body. Now that I'm at home, it's easier. But I'm already trying to eat healthy.

10. "You've evened out since the last time I saw you!"

This is code for you've put on some weight. I hear it mostly from older relatives because my friends will flat out tell me if I've gotten a little chunky.

11. "You're just stressed."

Personally, this one gets me livid. I do admit that when I am stressed or anxious, I do turn to food for comfort but when I am delighted and genuinely happy, will my body magically revert into a fit state?

Sadly, no.

Honestly, I am just trying to get my body back into shape. For me, that means cutting back on greasy foods and kicking a bad habit of sitting on my butt all day. For others, it could mean more or less. As long as your body is in good physical condition and you are content, the number on the scale and others' thoughts shouldn't matter. Take care of yourself.

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