It shouldn't be about, I was "bad," and now I'm "good."

I can't tell you how many times I've heard stories of amazing transformation, or radically change in someone's life. Which is not to be disregarded.

But the story seems to always go, I was bad, I did very bad things, and then I found God, and now I'm good.

You can imagine how discouraging this could be for a slow learner like myself.

It was like some metaphorical pixie dust had been sprinkled onto this person by accepting a relationship with God into their lives, and now they just do good things.

They are no longer addicted or drawn to "bad" behavior.

It's never been that easy for me.

I can try a million diets, but if the changes are drastic I'll eventually find myself caving.

Because it's drastic, it's very sudden, and there has been no gradual progression to a healthier lifestyle.

If you're like me, while it sounds super nice to go from a box of a dozen donuts to a six pack, it just doesn't happen that way.

And that's how I feel about these stories.

I'm inspired by stories, and I love how hardship can lead us to a better path for our lives. But if I can't go from light to dark is being a Christian not meant for me?

And if I still find myself struggling even AFTER becoming a Christian, is it all fake?

Is it possible to desire good, and seek a relationship with God but still have the urge to do bad things, or even mess up from time to time?

I think the answer is yes.

I don't think we're ever too far gone from God, and that we can ever be disqualified from knowing Him, or attending His church. I think that wanting God, but messing up, makes us human.

And I think it's humbling.

Because I'm not the savior who took myself from a life of chaos and brought myself into a redemptive state of grace and peace. I don't think I myself am I answer.

I think God is.

And by recognizing this reality of imperfection, it only points to His perfection.

By acknowledging this truth,

that it doesn't make me a weak Christian, but rather an honest person.

If being a Christian means being perfect, then I can't be that.

And If I'm not allowed to make mistakes, then I can tell you right now that I will mess up.

If not attending every Church service, Bible study, or College group makes me a heathen, then know,

I already am one.

But to be honest,

I think it's beautiful.

And I think that's real love.

Walking through life with someone who went through a lot of hell, and experienced a lot of pain, and sticking around.

Encouraging them when they mess up, and praising them when they succeed.

Acknowledging the process that is life, and the sin that is apart of our human nature.

Not everyone can do that.

Not everyone can love like that.

But I know a Guy.

And He wants to know you too.