There is more to the story than we know at times. We deal with trauma and toxic situations in different ways. However, we need to normalize cutting them off. We need to normalize doing what is best for ourselves.
It's a myth that family is "everything"
A lot of the times we are faced with a dysfunctional family. We experience issues with political views, moral views, and everything and anything in between. Another issue that I see come up in family situations is money. I feel like money is more responsible for family disasters more than anything. We deal with toxic family members, for what? It is completely okay to cut people out of your life if it creates a toxic life for you. I wish people would normalize cutting people out of your life. I see it all over TikTok and Instagram Reels about testimonies from people from all ages. CUT THEM OFF. IT IS DESTROYING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.
Your mental health matters
You come first. Plain and simple. More than ever we need to support each other and support one's decisions. If you see that your sister is cutting someone off, there is a reason. You should be supporting her and not telling them "buT tHey'Re FaMilY" please stop. There is a reason that each person does something. Sit down and talk to them and validate their feelings. Ask them what is going on and what they are feeling. If they don't feel like talking, don't pry and understand that they may or may not ever tell you why.
Not every family is like yours
If you see a friend struggling with cutting someone off but you don't have a dysfunctional family, please look into research on what you can do to help them--especially if it is a parent. Cutting off a parent is one of the hardest things to do and it takes a lot of healing for some people. You can find some information here. There is information everywhere and if you think that your friend is in danger please have them contact authorities. DO NOT CONTACT THEIR FAMILY. Contact someone here.
Don't share information
The Internet is a big place, it's easy for anyone to get information on us. If we don't want to contact our family, our friends or strangers that have pestered us...do not hand out information. I will never forget when I cut off one of my friends and my parents told them where I work and they showed up when I was on the clock. I was completely frazzled and I was in shock. It brought back a lot of pain in an unsafe place for me. Privacy is pertinent. If you are unsure if your friend is communicating with someone, please ask them first. Don't give out their numbers or their address or where they work. Youi don't know the severity of the situation.
For those struggling:
I know that it isn't easy. If you grew up with them, you shared very personal memories, and so on...it is hard. The pain of dealing with toxic people is not worth it. You are worth so much and deserve so much more. You don't deserve the family that was given to you but you will find a new one. There's a bunch of people waiting for you down the line to become your own little family. You will experience pleasant holidays, extravagant birthdays, and whimsical days. Not every day will be great, but it will be better. You got this.
