I think most people struggle in their life, and some more than once. Many struggle with their relationship with God and their Faith. I've struggled a lot with my Faith during hard times and with the way people have been perceiving Christians. It took me awhile to realize that relationships are an up and down hill battle that requires effort and hard work.
I had never really been much into church or God until I entered high school. I thought it wasn't cool to be sitting on a pew on Sunday morning. I wanted to sleep in and faked illnesses all the time to get out of mass. It wasn't something I was interested in at all until I found people that wanted to learn more about God as well. I've never had a real strong relationship with God, but as I was learning I felt his presence more and more.
I have never felt God's presence in a church. I have never thought God has been with me while sitting in a pew. It has always been hard for me to pay attention in church or even understand what most of it meant. However, I feel God's presence in moments: talking with peers, helping others, and witness talks. It was during those moments that I had "God Highs" where everything feels amazing. You want to go run and sign up for 5 mission trips, help out more with mass, and give back to those in need. I found out that those moments faded and left you questioning your faith and diminished your participation in church actives.
I've always thought you have to maintain an amazing Faith and never doubt the relationship, but over the years I have struggled. I have gone from hating God and wanting nothing to do with him to loving him dearly. I've thought this was a not what a relationship should be; this isn't what a good Christian relationship should look like. I never thought I could have as good of a relationship with God as my parents or grandparents, but what I learned is every relationship is unique and worthwhile.
The struggle of my relationship with God has been a journey. "But Faith is a journey, not a destination." I've had many times where I've doubted my relationship and made excuses for why it isn't as strong as it should be. However, doubting your faith is good and normal. It is normal to have questions even ones that don't have right or wrong answers. More importantly, it is normal to struggle. I've heard stories of people struggling just like me and coming out a better person.
With every struggle, there is something to learn and room to grow. With every struggle, you have to find your niche. For me, it has been leading youths or hearing people struggle with the same things I have. It is about finding where you feel God and how you can strengthen and maintain the relationship whether that be reading the bible and it's translation or meeting in a church group. Never stop trying to grow your relationship with God. Never think that God is not there for you. Struggling is only temporary. God didn't give you this life if He didn't think you could handle it.
