I Have No Clue What I'm Doing Right Now
Start writing a post
Education

I Have No Clue What I'm Doing Right Now

My life is unemployment and debt, and I hate it

230
I Have No Clue What I'm Doing Right Now

Do you know that meme of the dog sitting at the computer and it just says "I have no idea what I'm doing"? That's me. I'm that dog.

It's been a year since I graduated from the University of Maine, and I still have no idea what I am going to do with my life right now. I've already moved twice. I sent in an application for a radio broadcasting job for a collegiate summer league baseball team and got rejected. This had entry-level media job written all over it, and I still couldn't land it. What's it going to take to actually put my degree to use at this rate?

In all honesty, I don't think I have any control over my life right now.

I graduated on time. I now have 27 thousand dollars of student loan debt that I need to start paying off. I had to defer my payments.

The only jobs I'm qualified in are jobs in the restaurant industry, so what the everloving f*** was the point of saddling myself with this much debt when I have no way to pay it off?

Every time I think about it, the worse I make the problem, and the angrier I become. I contemplate going back to school for a new degree. Maybe I go for a similar degree in what I already have, just so I can bank on internships.

That there lies the problem. I start overthinking. I never allow myself to just sit back and relax. I don't know how to properly identify and communicate the anger and frustration I am feeling, so I come up with "fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants" plans.

I look at everyone I went to high school and college with, and they seem to have a grasp of what they are doing. They were able to find good jobs or get into graduate programs. Either that or they are living life to the fullest. I see it every day with my girlfriend when she goes off to a job she really loves.

And where am I? I'm stuck with no car, no license, and nowhere to go. All I have is time to get stuck in my own head

This leads me to think that I'm a loser who can't do anything right. Yeah, I have a degree, but who cares? A Bachelors degree these days is basically what a high school degree would have been back in the 1960s. In all honesty, I was probably better off going to trade school, or at the very least, getting a different degree. Maybe I could have joined the military to get the experience needed to get a job.

It's funny how a year can change someone on this particular issue.I wasn't worried about my life before. I just wanted to take some time to enjoy myself, really explore what there was outside of Connecticut. I was optimistic about my prospects. Now, I have one existential crisis after another, wondering if I made a mistake as far as my field goes.

Oh well, that's life, I suppose.



Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

50828
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

122556
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments