Those who know me know I have a wide variety of interests. They range from medicine, school, traveling, shopping, food and family. But I have always had a special place in my heart for music. It’s slowly become my identity, and even though I am not in any ensembles currently, that doesn’t mean my love for music has dwindled.
I started playing the violin in 4th grade, and I was absolutely horrible. I actually wanted to play the flute or the drums, but with some heavy persistence from my mother, I joined the orchestra. It was one of the most daunting experiences of my life because I was a shy 4th grader who really didn’t speak much. But boy, was I in for a surprise.
The violin became one of my biggest passions and my biggest vices for communication and personal growth as I went through the public school system. I grew as a musician and became a violin 1 by the time I was in middle school, which was a pretty proud moment for myself. Like I said earlier, I was an extremely shy kid growing up, and being in my school orchestra helped me come out of my shell. I made a lot of life-long friends and developed a lot of interpersonal skills as well.
As I ventured into high school, I started to branch out on different musical ventures like singing and performing. I fell deeper in love with music, which I didn’t even think was possible. Through all four years of high school I did a variety of different musical groups and performances as well as joining the marching band. I can say music became my identity for a majority of my life, and it was what I was known for all throughout high school and even after.
When I went to college, things changed. I could no longer play in the orchestra, and singing just wasn’t an option. Balancing an 18-credit schedule as a freshman while joining a variety of organizations and adjusting to living away from home didn’t allow me the time I wanted to dedicate my life to my instruments. And that was probably the most painful adjustment there was. Something that I had dedicated so many moments to and that became my identity was suddenly just not a possibility. I struggled to figure out how to keep music an integral part of my life as I adjusted to college life.
The most important thing I realized was that even though I couldn’t fit music into my schedule in the ways I was used to, there were ways I could incorporate it into my life. I joined the dance team at my school, and I’m very conscious about the musical theories I learned. I analyze music that I listen to, and I attend the concerts on campus, often hearing songs I performed in high school. It’s my way of keeping my identity intact.
Music will always be who I am, and just because I cannot play anymore doesn’t mean it won't continue to be a part of my life. It will always be a means of self expression and of escape.
So here's a little thank you, to the thing that makes me... well, me.
