Karl Popper had a concept known as the "paradox of tolerance" that I think about a lot. Simply, it says that for a tolerant society to remain tolerant, its people can't tolerate irrational intolerance. If you let the irrational intolerant — people "not prepared to meet us on the level of rational argument" — go unchallenged in the name of being tolerant, then intolerance eventually takes hold in the society and it gets really bad really quick.
For a long time, I let offensive statements slide to try to keep the peace. Pointlessly sexist Facebook joke? I'll just scroll past that and steam over it in silence for a week. Boys exclusively calling me "feminist" and "feminazi" in the hallway for two years even though it clearly made me uncomfortable? Bring it up in private maybe, but don't make a scene. Oh, you don't think women should be allowed to be president? Well, let's just change the topic I guess (that's an actual conversation I once had that stuns me to this day).
I was never quiet about my opinions on important issues, but when it came to so-called "humor" or social issues I always hesitated to directly tell someone they were wrong or that their opinion was ridiculous.
I don't know what it is about college that has made me suddenly OK with confrontation, but I've realized this model wasn't the best. By refusing to engage in these topics I was letting these people think that their views were reasonable. As if thinking gay people shouldn't be allowed to get married or that women aren't fit to hold elected office was somehow just as valid an opinion as "apples are better than oranges" or "'Stranger Things' is overrated."
They're not. And if I pretend they are, all I'm doing is contributing to the normalization of intolerance.
I can respect differences of opinion. What I can't, and won't, stand for, is bigotry. We, as individuals, shouldn't be willing to treat opinions regarding groups of people not deserving rights as valid. The First Amendment may protect your right to say terrible things, but it also protects my right to tell you you're a bigot.
The culture war is over. If a majority of the populace considers your views to be socially reprehensible, then there's going to be social consequences. People may not want to talk to you anymore. If what you're saying is really really bad, your Twitter account might get banned. Neither is a violation of your freedom of speech, by the way, so stop complaining about that. And my calling you out isn't repression of your free speech either. It just means I'm tired of hearing ignorance devoid of any self-reflection.