I’ve had an interesting relationship with Christmas my whole life. I’m Jewish, well, really Jew-ish, and holidays were never too important in my family. Around the holiday season, we wouldn’t always bring out a menorah, although we did indulge in some latkes. Despite the secular upbringing, one of my fondest memories from my childhood is watching Christmas movies with my mother. Jewish by birth but always telling me how fascinated she was with Christianity, we would watch Miracle on 34th Street and the Peanuts’ Christmas special while sugar cookies with reindeer printed on them would bake in the oven. We didn’t do a tree, gift exchange, or have family come over, so I never really experienced the Christmas magic. A few times my father and I went to see the big tree in Rockefeller Center, but other than that, Christmas was for other people, not me.

This year after the first semester came to a close, my roommate and best friend, invited me to stay at her house for a part of the holiday season. She’s Protestant and fairly religious. She has young siblings, two of whom were on their best behavior as they eagerly awaited Santa’s arrival. Knowing my background, she told me that her family would be going to church and following through with all of the typical Christmas traditions. I was thrilled to finally celebrate the holiday the right way - the way I had seen on TV - for the first time. The days before we left our dorm I was excitedly packing away and ordering presents online for her family, who welcomed me with warm, open arms the minute I arrived.

The magic started first thing in the morning on Christmas Eve. We all went out to breakfast. Everyone, including me, was given a Santa hat and a football jersey to wear, alongside an incredibly thoughtful gift from her father. I was touched at how perfect the present was for me and appreciated how inclusive everyone had been so far.

I had never been in a church up until that day. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, especially knowing how important the holiday is. It was such a moving experience. I’m not a religious person, but I consider myself to be spiritual. I walked into that room feeling incredibly different and isolated from the rest of the community. Between the songs that the congregation joined together in, the pastor preached to us about the true meaning of the holiday. People from all backgrounds, all walks of life, from all over came together to be present in that church at that very moment. What I got from it is that Christmas is about those intersections that may not have happened otherwise, and we need to stop and think about where we are in the world and how we can celebrate and make it worthwhile. I’m not saying I’m necessarily planning on spending more time in churches, but I left feeling enlightened. It actually sparked an interest in me to learn more about my own religion.

As we sat down to a delicious home-cooked meal for dinner, Elle’s aunt brought a traditional Bayberry candle to the table. The story goes that a group of New England women in the 1700s created the candle that burned longer than it was supposed to, and gave off such a wonderful scent, that they made more to share with all of the families in the town. I felt the warm glow of the flame and felt a bit closer to my own heritage, as I found myself missing the menorah I hadn’t seen for so many years.

That evening, my roommate, her mother and I went to work by making all of the behind the scenes action come to life for the little kids. All of Santa’s gifts were carefully wrapped in paper adorned with his very own printed pattern, to distinguish the givers. We stuffed stockings full with candy, gift cards, candy, fun toys, and even more candy for every member of the household. Her sister had made me my own stocking, covered in glitter and made with love. Even the beloved little furry pal, of an unknown breed, got in on the action with his own stocking complete with a bone and squeaky toy. Looking at all of the presents under the tree gave me such a feeling of joy. Not only were there the gifts I had picked out for her family, but her family goes so hard during Christmas that there were enough gifts for me as well to make up for every Hanukkah I missed out on growing up. I walked up the stairs that night with a full heart, excited to see the look of joy on her younger siblings faces’ as they took in all the magic downstairs that I helped create.

I woke up in the morning to two little munchkins jumping around the room begging for us to come downstairs and see what Santa had done. The living room looked like a scene out of a Hallmark movie, full of gifts, stockings hung just so over the mantle, and a beautifully decorated tree holding ornaments with strong sentimental value and twinkling lights. The youngest child had such a look of pure bliss the entire morning, especially as he reached for the biggest gift first. After every box with the same level of enthusiasm, he would cheer, “I’ve always wanted that!” Each family member received gifts perfectly suited to them and voiced their appreciation and gratitude. As we all sat down after covering the living room with wrapping paper and bows to eat fresh cinnamon rolls, everyone joyfully chattered on about what they would do next with their presents. I think the coolest one by far was the 3D printer the eldest son got. He couldn’t wait to set it up.

We took a trip down to her great aunt and uncle’s house for Christmas brunch, where more presents were to be distributed. I was immediately taken in and treated like a member of the family. I sat between the kids as they unwrapped more boxes and helped them out, enjoying my role as a pseudo-sister. I loved hearing the stories about the ornaments, especially the angel on top of the tree, which had been in her family for quite some time. The sense of family togetherness was alive and well the entire day through, especially when the youngest, still learning to share and cooperate in a big world, gave one of his presents to his sister to play with. We were all proud.

It’s true what they say, it really is the most wonderful time of the year if you do it right. This year for me has been an exploration of identity, trying to figure out where I belong and what my values are. I have never enjoyed a holiday more than this one; full of laughter, togetherness, and love. My roommate’s family knows how to do Christmas better than what you see on TV, so I recommend getting close to her. Maybe she’ll invite you to come around next time.