If you are anything like me, having had six zip codes (and maybe you've had more), then you have been asked the same list of questions over and over again: Hey, are you new? Where are you from? Why did you move? And so on. Sometimes you'd rather just answer: It's complicated. But you smile politely and basically give everyone who asks your entire life story because there is no other way to explain it.
Over the years, having lived in many different cities, I have come to realize the truths that come from having a mobile childhood. So to all of you sympathetic to this nomadic experience, here are the things that I observed along the way that you may find all too real:
1. You don't really have a hometown, though you claim the first place you lived in.
The reality you face when you've moved around from as far back as you can remember is that you really don't have a hometown. You tend to just tell others that your hometown is where you were born, even if you didn't live there for very long. You kind of feel like a gypsy -- someone who doesn't belong to any one place, but to a bunch of different ones. You may feel a tinge of jealousy when you move to a new place and everyone has stories about growing up together. But at the same time you find it hard to believe that generations of families have not moved away from a single town. The thought of living in the same spot for a long time is way too foreign.
2. You have a security blanket that keeps you sane.
When you find yourself on the road frequently and the scenery is always changing, you look for a constant. That constant can be anything you find the most comforting. For me the solution was books. I could never get enough books. Fiction helped me enter a world outside my own that seemed to be so sure of itself. The security of living in someone else's reality kept me sane in my own. For others the solution possibilities are endless: it could be a pet, a favorite family ritual, religion, or a favorite movie that you always travel with. These things can lessen the negativity you have about the "temporary" in your life.
3. Your first instinct is to think about how much time you have, and unpacking can seem meaningless.
Reaching a new destination brings a mix of curiosity or excitement and the sadness that greets you with the acknowledgement of time. The emotions are a packaged deal, no matter where you go. You unpack the car and place those labelled boxes, that perhaps have been with you for two or three moves, in your new room and contemplate the idea of just living out of the boxes. Why couldn't you just get things out when you need them and put them back when you're done? It would be clean and efficient, and would save time when the moving truck comes again. But in the end, you unpack and decorate because you need to make this new place your home for as long as you can.
4. Friends are essential to acclimating to a new place, but can be hard to let in.
Finding friends when entering a new school system is a delicate process, especially if you are more introverted. I was one of those kids that would let other kids come to me if they were curious and wanted to be friends. Even though I wanted friends and absolutely needed them, I found it hard to let them in. The desire to make friends was too hard to ignore. Therefore, I had to get over the idea that one day I would have to leave them behind. Dwelling on that truth would only make the time in a place seem incredibly empty, but it was always in the back of my mind.
5. Attachment can be really good or really bad.
With friends comes attachment. Attachment to a new place could severely hurt you in the end when it comes time to ship off once more. But regardless of this, you find yourself becoming attached anyway because maybe it would be the last time you would have to leave. Attachment could also be the best thing in your life. It helps you to accept where you are, forget the pain of where you came from, and push you to move on, to meet more people, and enjoy new places.
6. You learn that everyone is the same everywhere.
The categories of students in the many different schools I had been to became a picture-perfect system that reflected all the others. This made navigating school fairly easy. You could find who you fit in with very quickly, and you could figure out some way to befriend those in that group. This constant could be easy for you or it could be hard. The notion of "sameness" helps to understand that, no matter where you are, some things are not going to be a big surprise. Surprises could sometimes be anomalies that are too far out of your comfort zone, so "the same" was mostly a blessing in disguise.
7. You grow to love the idea of home and the idea of travel simultaneously.
Home is everything, at least it was for me. Home means safety -- the same furniture, just in a different house. Home is where you could go to when nothing else was going right. At the same time you were finding solace at home, you would find yourself wondering where you would be going next. Maybe you could easily guess the next place, or maybe you would be pleasantly surprised. Traveling to new places, whether it be for the next move or the next vacation, became all too interesting. Maybe you eventually grew up to have an extreme wanderlust because moving around led you to be somewhat transient. No place can really hold your curiosity for new. And maybe you found that enough was enough, and that establishing a final home was all you wanted. But whether you meant to or not you became one of these extremes along the way.
8. Family becomes thicker than blood.
Enough said. Family is everything. They stuck by you every move, every place, every school system, every happiness, and every heartbreak you have experienced. Family is forever and irreplaceable in your eyes.
9. You wouldn't trade it for the world.
In the end, everything you went through made you who you are today. You grew closer to your family and even closer to yourself. You have two or three good friends that have made it over the years who mean the world to you. You feel well-rounded and at least somewhat cultured. You will find it easy to go to new places in the future. You welcome life's changes with open arms because everything, even every move, happened for a reason. You would not trade any second of it.
