The age old saying, and Drake lyric, has been spoken around the world (that may be dramatic but you get my point), but just because it's well known does not mean that it's true!!! As a girl who has grown up being told that I am "marriage material" (let's leave the unpacking of that loaded statement for another article). I am usually told this either by moms who wish their sons would date someone like me, or more often by role models and friends in my life who are trying to help my ego when a boy has rejected me. I've been told that these boys are just not ready for someone as "well rounded" and "wholesome" as me. HA! They simply didn't like me (*she said without an ounce of bitterness*). But what I have only recently learned is that us "marriage material" girls have male counterparts that struggle with current relationships, the "nice guys."

Now before you skip to another lovely Odyssey article, let me say right now that I am not going to ignore the fact that it seems like "wholesome" young women and "nice" young men are not rejected frequently, and it may seem like we are rejected more often than a hot girl who is vocal about her risque wants or the kind of rude guy in the corner of the bar that seems uninterested in every girl who approaches him. It sure does seem like that to me sometimes. But is that really the case? I don't know. What I do know is that I have so much to offer, so if I have to wait until the right one comes along and notices me rather than someone who is simpler and better at playing games, I will continue waiting impatiently. Guess what? You do too. Especially if you are taking the time to read an article with this title. You already have been deemed sweet and wholesome by a handful of peers, so you are on the right track.

So nice guy, I will admit I didn't even think about this phrase being true until my freshman year of college. My DOPE college professor wanted to have an interesting ice breaker instead of the usual "Tell the class an interesting fact about yourself," and my nosey/inquisitive self took notes on which cute guy went where (this little ice breaker also helped me make quick friends, so thanks Dope College Professor). After asking about what we call "coke" and in what region of the country we hoped to live in in the future, he asked, "Do nice guys finish last?" Naturally, I said NOPE. Well, there were two guys I had my eye on in that first week of classes, and they went to opposite sides of the room with their opposite answers. And the one that said no? I hopelessly flirted with him for a year after that. The nice guy that claimed that he does indeed finish last? I was so intimidated by his wholesomeness that I can't even form words around him (this wholesomeness came from listening to his answers in our seminar class and from mutual friends, swear I'm not a creep).

So uh, say they both actually wanted to date my "marriage material" booty - I picked the meaner guy. But in my head, I think the mean guys are lessons. They all teach us something about what we value, what we want, and especially things about ourselves.

Did you hear that nice boys and wholesome girls?? The people who do not treat us well are stepping stones to the nice guys and girls.

Now before you get heated and contact me personally (go ahead I love a good discussion), I am not saying that these stepping stones are bad people or worth less. Being hot and a game player and overtly wanted by the opposite sex (or whatever sex you like homie) is not BAD. You rock and you probably spent your quarantine getting even hotter. I'm saying that just because you feel like you are not overtly wanted now does not mean that you are going to finish last. It means when you find the right person after all of your late nights of being frustrated that your kinda rude friend pulls won't be the story of your life. It'll be something that your husband/wife makes fun of you for during those cute late night double date grown up dinners.

Your time may not be now. I don't know if it's because people are intimidated to have a serious relationship, if they don't think they deserve someone who is going to treat them right, or if they are bored with your stability. But your time will come when it really matters, and you may even avoid people who don't like being treated well. Hang in there nice boys and girls.