I only want people in my life who want me. I only want people in my life who act like they care, who listen to my problems and are simply there for me. I don't care if we spend months not talking to each other. I understand everyone is busy. Trust me. I do the same shit. I will constantly forget to text or call for a long time. But, I will always be there for my friends. I will always be in touch. If you call me at 2 a.m. (and I actually wake up from it), I will answer. I will even go to your house if you really need it. I will always be there for you. I will give advice. I will listen. But, for the people that will not do the same for me, I don't want them in my life.
I have a knack for forgiving too much, too fast, and for always keeping and caring about people who I shouldn't.
I let people in, even when they make me feel like shit. I let people stay in my life even though they let me down constantly.
I am excited to finally fucking stand up for myself. I deserve to enjoy having my friends and family around. I am sick of constantly feeling like I'm not enough because of the people I'm around.
"Why didn't they answer?"
"Why do I always feel like the only one trying?"
"I haven't seen ______ in so long. I tried texting but ______ never responded/the response was a lot of one worded answers"
Some of these responses make sense, people can be busy. I'm busy and I sometimes do shit like this. I eventually respond. Even if its a week later...
I want to keep the people in my life that I know care about me, and who I care about. I don't want the people who constantly let me down and make it seem like they don't want me in their lives. It has killed my self-confidence and has made me feel sad so much.
I want this new year, 2019 to be the happiest year of my life. I want to keep the people in my life who deserve to be there and tell the people who shouldn't be there to fuck off.