It is that time of year again for making New Year’s resolutions. Many people will resolve to lose weight, exercise, or eat more healthy this new year. Some may choose to be more intentional or more spiritual. These are all great goals. But no matter how great the goal may be, many times, after just a month or two, many New Year’s resolutions fail, you get behind on your plan, you cheat one too many times, and it is easy to get mad at yourself or just give up.

What if we were to try something new this year? Rather than making a strict plan that is bound to fail, what if we focus more on growing as people, as seeing ourselves or others in a new way? Learning is always a process, a mix of failures and successes, and failure is just part of that process, it is no reason to just give up. You don’t have to focus on failing or not failing. You will miss days on your workout plan, you will eat foods that are not on your diet. Be realistic, failure will happen, but that’s okay. It is all a part of the growing and learning process.

It is easy when it comes to New Year’s resolutions to get so focused on failures and successes and miss the important lessons and growth we can experience for ourselves. Rather than give up, get mad, or punish ourselves for failing our resolutions once again, what if we see this as an opportunity to accept ourselves more in our failures? It’s so easy to judge ourselves, so what if our main goal this new year would be to love and accept ourselves more and more in the midst of our failures or successes.

How many successes or failures we had are not what marks a good year. I say the mark of a good year is how much we lived and grew as a person. We often get so focused on trying to change our actions, that we forget about the importance of learning to love and accept ourselves. How differently do you think your actions might look if you didn’t judge yourself for your successes or failures, but loved yourself in the midst of all of them.

Loving yourself like that is easier said than done, but it is possible very possible and rewarding when you love yourself more. You’ll notice your whole perspective begin to change and the way you treat others will change with it. Loving yourself is in the little things, it begins with simple acts of loving yourself versus judging or hating yourself. For me, it started with hugging myself as I let myself feel the pain and sadness I felt rather than running from it like I so often did. I held myself and said it’s okay to feel whatever you feel. Maybe you need to say it’s okay to fail. It’s okay if I mess up my diet plan again like I always do. Hug yourself, forgive yourself, say “I love you”. Try not judging yourself for your failure and see what happens.

What is something you judge yourself for the most? Maybe it’s how you treat people. Maybe it is how you act or look. Maybe you judge yourself for your emotions like I did. Find one area where you judge yourself the most, and start accepting yourself, saying “I love you” when you fail.

This year will likely be filled with many failures. But it can also be filled with a lot of love, grace, and acceptance. Learning to be and love yourself as you are in the midst of all your failures. So here's to a Happy New Year where we are free to be ourselves, free to fail and grow. Happy New Year!