Being a New Jerseyan, I know what it is like to be railed against by all 49 other states in America (for no apparent reason other than jealousy, I might add), and for that I know what it’s like to be hated on.

So let’s break down these stereotypes one by one. This first one I can’t stand: New Jersey has so much traffic. The ironic part is, Long Islanders and other New Yorkers are the most popular culprits of this hypocritical statement. Now I am not going to be insulting other states (as I bite my tongue), but will purely be defending New Jersey and the great state it is.

So Long Islanders. Really? You are telling us we have traffic? Good luck even getting to Long Island within the same week you depart from Jersey. Staten Island Expressway? Good luck. The infamous LIE? Please. Why do you think the LIRR was invented? Certainly was not for the pleasure of Manhattan residents getting an influx of Long Islanders every day like a swarm rising up from Penn Station. It is because nobody can move on those Long Island roads it is so densely populated.

Sure, the Parkway gets crowded on summer weekends. But really, look at our beaches. If you want relaxing and low-key, I’ll see you at Spring Lake. Action? Long Branch, Belmar, Asbury Park and Point Pleasant. And of course Atlantic City. Or for a vacation right in your own state, Cape May, Wildwood and Ocean City are calling your name.

And our driving. Yeah, we go fast. That’s all I have to say about that.

Let me address this eternal insult that New Jersey smells. Funny, I thought our state nickname was “The Garden State”. Because go west of Newark and tell me what you see. Farms. You can’t judge the state by the smell when you’re right outside the state’s biggest city (AKA like 5% of the Turnpike). New York City smells. I don’t say “New York State smells”. That wouldn’t make any sense. So knock it off.

Get this concept. When you actually leave the city, and you enter suburban and rural areas, it looks pretty. Wow! Kind of just like every other state!

No other state is as accomplished as New Jersey for its size. We have an Ivy League school. We have two NFL teams. We have an NHL team and when our NBA team foolishly left, we didn’t pout. We stayed Jersey Strong and our Governor said, “Good riddance!” Bruce Springsteen remade rock music. So did Bon Jovi and Whitney Houston. And we have a history of that. Frank Sinatra remade music. So did Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.

I just love when New Yorkers ask New Jerseyans why they live in New Jersey, especially the ones right outside the city in Hoboken and Weehawken. They whine that the rent is so high. Um, excuse me? A Manhattan person is telling me my rent is too high? At least I’m not living in a shoebox for triple my cost of a decent apartment.

In reality, New Jersey is pretty great. What state of our size has so many claims to fame? President Woodrow Wilson came from New Jersey, and we are the world capital for diners and malls. And we would be for Italian food too if it wasn’t for Italy. New Jersey is one of the smartest states and is the role model to the world for how to coexist peacefully in a diverse and densely populated space. We’ve got the perfect combination of everything – from city to farmland, beach relaxation to professional sports and an Ivy League college – so stop saying New Jersey is the worst state. And don’t ever, ever, ever, refer to The Garden State as “Dirty Jersey”. Say it in the comfort of your own state, fine, but if you ever say that on our turf, watch out. Because we have that Jersey attitude.