We are constantly reminded of our society's greedy "gimme, gimme, gimme" mindset,and that it is very difficult to live in the moment and really appreciate what you have without getting lost in the future. On the other hand, there are also people like myself who get stuck in the past -- constantly thinking "I wish I could go back to this moment or phase in my life," or "I wish I had tried harder at this thing." We are stuck in a state of nostalgia that makes past memorable times in our lives seem so much better than whatever is going on today. In a world of photos and Facebook, it's easy to look back at photos or posts and say to yourself, "I was so much happier back then," or "I wish I could go back to this point in my life and do it differently."
Starting a new chapter in life is supposed to be exciting and make you happy, but sometimes when you compare the current chapter to an old one, you feel disappointed. Lots of people see movies and friends' post about college and graduating high school and think that it is going to be a blast compared to the constant toil of high school, but nobody tells you how hard it will be to let go of other parts of your life.
Maybe you played a sport or joined a club in high school that you were extremely passionate about, and you feel as if you devoted a great chunk of your life to it. The friends you made, the lessons you learned from your experiences in that activity, nothing feels like it will ever compare. If you get to college (or some other chapter of your life) and you suddenly don't have that anymore, it can feel like a real shock. You are in a new place without this part of you and you feel lost, or as if you've lost a part of yourself. As dramatic as that sounds, it makes sense. Many of us did the same activities for years before college and these sorts of activities shape who you are as a human being. As someone who danced for eight years before quitting, it certainly is a shock to give it up and try to move on.
For me, I constantly feel like my "glory days" are over. I danced for so long and achieved a lot for myself in ballet, getting to travel for summer programs and chances perform with a great company all while making the closest friends in my life and staying in great shape because of it all. I had plans of dancing in college, but then decided my senior year to give it up after a lot of thinking. I had this idea that college would take up all of my time and I could keep myself fit at the gym. However, I feel myself getting stuck dwelling on the past as I through Instagram and Facebook and see all of my friends' photos of them having so much fun, whether dancing at college or achieving other great things in their lives. I often feel like "all I'm doing" is going to college, while it feels like others are achieving so much more, and that makes me have those "what ifs" and nostalgic moments.
Aside from missing a specific part of your life that is now over, the general aspect of going from doing something every day to not at all feels like a culture shock. I often miss the routine of high school as well, having regular assignments due, having a set time to wake up and go to sleep -- at college it feels like life has become a chaotic free-for-all. I am someone who needs a structured schedule, and college is a hard place to create a structured schedule without parents or teachers constantly reminding you of what to do next.
As exciting as it is to start a new chapter in life, it is just as hard to close the old ones and accept that they are over. If you are like me, focusing on the present and the future are extremely difficult. All we can do is strive to achieve as much as we can and change our lives to make us happy.
I recently read a quote from a Billy Joel song that says "the good ole days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems." This in mind, thinking of every day as a fresh start can help focus on the good that life has to offer rather than wasting energy on feelings of nostalgia and regret that are so easy to get caught up in.
