I have not been too lucky when it comes to relationships in the past. I'm sure many would agree. But I remember what it was like when I was younger and had crushes or boyfriends. I used to put myself down before confessing that I liked them so that my expectations wouldn't be high.

I recently got married though, and I feel like I can do anything in my life, and I will always be loved by my husband. It has never felt better to be where I am now because the love department was basically non-existent

I had my first real boyfriend at 13 and I didn't know what to expect in a relationship because I had never really been in one. The boys I had known and liked in the past had made it very clear they didn't like me.

So naturally, I was afraid of that alien feeling in my stomach when my first boyfriend and I started dating. It was either anxiety or indigestion, but whatever it was, terrified me.

When that relationship ended the summer after sophomore year of high school, I felt lost when it came to relationships. Was I ready for another one, was I going to regret getting into one, was I going to actually like me, or worse, was I going to be lied to?

Because of my gullible attitude, I'd let boys and men lie to me or embarrass me without thinking twice; I used to get stood up on dates and I'd be in complete denial. After the millionth time, however, my cynicism and doubt began to set in.

"No one is ever going to like me like that," I'd say. "No one will ever be able to stand me," I'd say, "No one will ever marry me."

That is until I met Tyler.

I had recently gone to what most believe to be the last resort: online dating. Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble, you name it, I was on it. But I went on a few dates and I felt uncomfortable with myself and with these boys I'd only seen in pictures on my phone.

Nothing was clicking, I didn't feel like I was having a fun or an interesting conversation, and I was starting to doubt myself even more.

I told myself, "Once you get back from studying abroad, just delete all your profiles and let a relationship find you as natural as possible. NO MORE ONLINE DATING."

I studied abroad for three weeks in the summer of 2016. Vienna, Salzburg, Munich, Berlin, etc. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time. The happiest I'd been in a long time. On the plane ride back, I had completely forgotten about the promise I'd made to myself before I left.

Once I landed, I checked my notifications for Tinder, then Bumble, and finally OKCupid. "Tyler sent you a message!" the screen read. I was met with two long paragraphs that went into detail about the things we had in common from what he'd seen on my profile.

We messaged back and forth for a couple weeks, but I started to feel something. I hadn't felt like that in a long time, so I took a chance.

"I'd love to meet up soon. This weekend?"

We spent the entire first date talking like we'd known each other for years. Laughing, smiling, flirting. It felt so natural and comforting. I felt like there was a mutual trust between us. And I'd be lying if I said I started falling immediately.

He was the reason I started to believe in love again. I know that sound sickeningly sweet, but if he hadn't messaged me when he did, I would have shut myself off from ever looking for a relationship again. I would've waited and waited for someone to come to me, and with the kind of past I've had, I wouldn't have been hopeful.

Tyler and I got married on October 28th and I couldn't have asked for something as pure and as beautiful as the relationship I have at this moment. I'm glad I didn't give up.