There may be no 'I' in team, but there sure as hell is an 'I' in tailgate. That’s what we love about college football at CU. The only person responsible for winning it is you. Scoreboards are for squares and engineering types. Everyone knows all it actually takes to win a game day in Boulder is a strategic mix of creativity, determination, and a lot of chaser.
Here are five winning strategies that can help you out this tailgate season.
1. Living in the Candyshop. Monopolies in America may be illegal, but the boys at the Shop
run one anyways. Every game day they are the guaranteed success story. Nowhere else in Boulder can you show up at 11 a.m. and still be there at 6 p.m., shoulder to shoulder the entire time.
Nowhere
else in Boulder can you have the pleasure of sharing over 60 dirty looks with the
mass amount of girls there while anxiously hunting for Burnetts or a boyfriend. Nowhere else in Boulder has a man stood in the nude on the bar, exposed and dancing for over 30 seconds to everyone’s snap story's delight.
Even if you’re “sooo over” the candyshop, you show
up anyways, and that smells like a frat boy victory if I’ve ever smelt it.
2. Actually going to the game. Some people, who does not include myself or anyone I know,
have a strong sense of achievement if they actually make a Folsom Field
appearance. I’m not sure if it’s a guilt thing for buying season tickets or just because they’re freshman. Actually knowing
the score of the game sounds like a giant buzz kill if you ask me. On the other
hand, making it to one game during the four years you're here should be a
bucket-lister, and there’s nothing that screams victory like checking
something off your list.
3. Properly setting up a hookup. You may notice that around 5 p.m. on game day, a lot of
people are missing. If you are not one of them, no offense, but you may
very well be losing the tailgate. It is crucial to carefully plant your hookup hints throughout the day so you are not the one left to fourth meal alone before it is
even dinnertime. The best strategy is
finishing up conversations of interest throughout the tailgate with a soft, but
clearly deliberate sack tap. W-I-N-N-I-N-G.
4. Making it to the 10 p.m. round. What kind of people are sitting around a kitchen table
pregaming for the bars at 10 p.m. after a game day? Winners, that’s who. These
people have the stamina to survive college’s greatest exit exam: the day party
that lasts all night. A lot of
people just don’t have it in them. That's why the folks who can close down a bar
with you on game day are the marrying types -- or the alcoholic types. Maybe, spend a few more days with them before you say, “I do,” so you know which type they are.
5. Stories… stories. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what you did on your game day as long as you came out of it with a good story to tell and got some attention. That’s what college is really about, right? If you wake up the morning after with throbbing excitement to get all of your roommates in the living room for an emergency story-sharing session, then you should be a winner in your heart and theirs.
