To My Grandmother ... My Guardian Angel

To My Grandmother ... My  Guardian Angel

I am so lost without you... I just hope you know how much I love you ...

“Don’t go looking for the reasons, don’t go asking Jesus why. We’re not meant to know the answers, the belong to the bye and bye … Seen my star of broken halos, folded wings that use to fly. They’ve all gone wherever they go … broken halos that used to shine.” - Chris Stapleton. 

Dear Gammers,

I know that you will never be able to physically read this, but I hope somehow these words will reach you. First I wanna tell you that I love you so much, and my life will never be the same. There are so many things that I miss about you. 

I am starting to come to the realization that my life will never be the same. I miss so many things. I miss emailing you through the week, and telling fun stories about work. I miss talking to you on the phone while you where at the beach, talking about it being so cold do there, and just laughing because you knew how cold it was here. I miss coming and seeing you when you where home, and taking you to the store every weekend. I miss eating dinner and trying to make sure that you had everything you needed before sitting down at the table. I miss sitting and watching a Tiger’s game. I miss listening to country music and talking politics. 

There are so many things about our relationship that are just so hard to part with. However, even though you are not here physically, I feel you with me all over. 

There have been many times that I get in the car, and turn on a country station and the song we played at your funeral will come on. I know this is you. You telling me that you are with me, I know that you are up there keeping me safe. Although, I know that you will keep us all safe, and under your watch. However, it won’t be enough. I will never be okay with you not being here. 

I know that our relationship has been through its ups and downs. There is a lot of guilt. I missed a lot of time with you, because I had a lot of pride. I want you to know that this has been a huge life lesson. I will never do that again. There is so much time that I missed with you, so many holidays, birthdays, and family time that I have missed. I am so sorry for anything that I did that hurt you. I am more sorry that I could not tell you that. However, somehow I think that you knew that I was sorry. 

There are so many memories that I hold so dear. Climbing into bed with you and poppy when I was scared. Hanging out in the hot tub. Summer nights at the ball park. Trips to North Carolina and the beach. Going to the Board Office to visit you, or watching you cook in the kitchen. I would do anything to have these times back, and when I think about these times I smile, but I also tear up a little thinking about everything that you are going to miss…






One thing that I know is true is life is never going to be the same without you. I will never just be able to call you. That realization has become something that I am seeing to be true. The other day, I picked up the phone to give you a call, I needed to tell you that I got an A on my test. Then it dawned on me that I couldn’t just call you. I just wanted to here your voice, I just needed to hear your voice but I couldn’t, I couldn’t just tell you about my day, and I couldn’t tell you how well I am doing in school. I know, I know that you are in a better place. It doesn’t change the fact that I would do anything, anything to see your face. To have a conversation with you. To have you here with me.  

Lastly, I want to thank you. There are many things that I wish I could have done differently. The past cannot be changed, however, you never made me feel bad about that. I hope you know how much I love you. I know that I did not do a very good job in the last few years of showing you that, but I did love you and our family more than anything. Thank you for showing me how fantastic how to love, laugh, and live. 

There will never be a day that goes by that I do not think of you. I will do everything that I can to make you proud, and that I will help make sure poppy is taking care of.

Fly high my guardian angel … 

Love, Emmie  


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The Top 5 Most Adorable TV Characters

They Have Ruled Our Hearts, Gave us Tears of Joy, as well as Hysterical Fits of Laughter with their Charming Screen Presence

Well, they have ruled our hearts, gave us tears of joy and hysterical laughter with their wit and charm, so let's take a look at some of the most lovable TV characters.

1.) Stewie Griffin ("Family Guy"):

He's a baby, everybody loves babies, you might think that but it's not that simple. He's got the IQ of a rocket scientist, devilish designs, and his heartiest wish is to kill his mother, so he's nothing like a baby. He shares a beautiful bond with his dog which is heartwarming to watch. There are so many interesting angles to his personality which makes it worth it to root for him despite his primal instinct - kill his mother and world domination.

2.) Jake Harper ("Two and a Half Men"):

We have another kid, but he's completely from another dimension. This one can win a contest for the dumbest yet cutest kid. He was the half man from the title but had an equal share in making this show what it was - watchable. He was the butt of many jokes in the show due to his general lack of smarts, understanding of words, and self-confidence, as well as being oblivious to the fact he was being made fun of.

3.) Sheldon Cooper ("The Big Bang Theory"):

You have to give it to the 22-year-old theoretical physicist who played this character to perfection. He is freakishly genius and he knows it, but most importantly he doesn't mind letting others know even if its a cop, a judge, or his friends who suffer the most by his quirky mannerisms including his love for "his spot", details, and trains. His devotion to science is so deep that he is oblivious to social cues, women, and even sarcasm. Although these traits make him intolerable for his friends, strangers or even anyone who crosses paths with him, the same faults make him the reason to watch this show.

4.) Barney Stinson ("How I Met Your Mother"):

We have the man himself - Barney Stinson, the guy who eases "awesomeness" and "legendary" into his character and the show like butter onto bread. He's not just a man- he's a religion, he has his own set of rules, codes, costumes, and theories... about getting laid. He's a God to every loser who sees himself dominating/ pretending to be an Alpha male of society- the man that every girl desires to be with. He is immune to disease, fashion disasters, and even a bad photograph. He has crazy theories that he backs up with fake history tales lied to perfection. His concept of lie is something which defines how awesome he is- "A lie is just a great story ruined by truth."

5.) Joey Tribbiani ("F.R.I.E.N.D.S"):

It wouldn't serve justice to this listicle or to the word adorable if I didn't include Joey Tribbiani- the man who made " How you doin'?" what it is. He is the only person who can be dumb, cute, and funny all at the same time. He was the only character out of the six who had a smile on his face no matter what the situation was. He also senses the emotional needs of his friends and does everything possible to fulfill that need. He is the best character to be with when the chips are down, he can cheer up even Droopie. Joey is funny and he doesn't have to put in any effort to be just that. Maybe the fact that he owns an array of expressions which spill out humor and pour directly into our hearts, is the reason he doesn't have to try to be our favorite.

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

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Everything To Love About "Love, Simon"

"Everyone deserves a great love story."

Love, Simon, a film based on the book, “Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda” by Becky Albertalli came out on March 16th. Since then, it has received an overwhelming amount of positive reviews from movie goers. I went to see the movie last week and was extremely impressed. This movie is exactly what our society needs.

Years ago, the concept of being gay was a taboo and anything involving homosexuality carried a strong stigma. Many creative closeted individuals did not have the freedom to write stories or screenplays with queer characters. After members of the LGBT community became more normalized in society, we started to see the slow rise of films with characters reflecting different sexualities. I have watched multiple movies with queer characters, and ALL of the other ones I’ve seen have been tragedies.

While it is true that the process of coming out and living an authentic life can be difficult for queer people, it is not always tragic. Watching these movies makes people feel like non-heterosexual people cannot have happy endings. Imagine being a 14 year old kid in the closet and watching all these films that end with suicide, depression, or murder. It is easy to see why someone would not want to come out after being exposed to such horrific things. LGBT movies have also always been highly sexualized. Most of them center around the sexual relationships and lack substance. I feel like the writers think that the only appeal LGBT movies can have has to be sex.

The beauty in Love, Simon comes from the fact that none of the things I mentioned above were in the movie. Instead, it was hilarious, emotional and real. The story was raw and relatable for so many people. Simon was a normal high schooler, with best friends, a loving family, and homework to do. He did not fit the “gay” stereotype at all. His clothes were masculine, his voice was deep, and he didn’t love shopping. Simon was not the “Gay best friend” he was just the best friend. Simon was fortunate enough to have all these positive things in his life, which not everyone has. I think that this presentation of his life shows people that their coming out does not have to be tragic.

Simon’s coming out could not have been more realistic. He was outed to his school on an online platform, something that can happen easily in our technological age. He was very affected by this and knew he had to come clean to his family. His sister asked him if he wanted to deny it and he said he was tired of hiding.

His announcement shifted his family for a bit, something completely normal. Some movies have kids come out and show the parents instantly start a pride parade. This is usually not the case, especially when loved ones do not suspect anything. Love, Simon showed his parents trying to adjust to the news. They did not love him any less, but they needed some time to process the information, so that they could do their best for their son. There were days of silence in the family, but the silence was broken in memorable ways.

Simon’s talk with his mom had me in tears. His mom told him that for the past few years, she had felt like he was holding his breath, and tells him, “You can exhale now, Simon.” He could finally breathe and she was letting him know that she wants him to be happy and himself. His father apologized to him for making a lot of gay jokes before his coming out. He did not realize that his words may have been hurting his son, and he tears himself down for not realizing his son was gay. Simon tells him that he has nothing to be sorry about, because his coming out was something that could not be assumed.

Simon’s friends did not treat him any differently after his coming out, meaning that they did not give him any special treatment. They were upset with him for things, and worked it out later. His sexuality was not the issue.

At school, he was bullied by idiots, but he stood up for himself. I think that is something so important for the youth to see. Movies typically show gay kids cowering in a corner while being made fun of. Simon and the other out gay kid (a black character) in his school both stood up for themselves repeatedly, throwing out witty remarks and comments on occasion.

Simon’s online relationship with the other closeted kid in his school exemplified many relationships today. Kids will go online to search for people who they can relate to. With the touch of a button, they can connect with millions going through the same things they are. When Simon meets the person behind the screen, everyone is overjoyed.

The entire film was a masterpiece. Two LGBT characters were people of color. The rest of the cast was diverse as well. The movie did not feature an array of white people, like most movies do. Although there were many serious scenes that had me in tears, there was plenty of levity. The humor was current and made the entire theater laugh.

The representation for queer people in this movie is superb. Multiple members actually came out during the filming of this movie. If that doesn’t show you how positive and powerful this movie is, I don’t know what will. This movie is exactly what LGBT kids needed and I applaud the talented cast, the writers, and everyone else who had anything to do with the creation of this life changing movie.

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