For me Netflix has become something of a subsequent boyfriend ya know, until my real knight in shining armor shows up. Just like in a real relationship, there are ups and downs. I have my moments where I think to myself, "Netflix is bae. It is the wind beneath my wings and the greatest invention known to man." Then there are those days where I'm screaming at my television and tweeting about how everyone who works at Netflix can go play in traffic. Everything would work out just fine between us if Netflix would just stop playing with my emotions.
First off, there's the wait time before my favorite television shows are put up on the streaming service. They usually don't put the current season of a show up until the new season starts. But why the long wait huh? Could it be because they just want to see me squirm? It's like they know how long I've been waiting to binge watch Orange is the New Black Scandal or Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and they just want to toy with my feelings and leave me hanging with anticipation. How hard is it to put those shows up sooner? I feel like they just like making me suffer. They like leaving me lingering on cliffhangers and forcing me to use my imagination and come up with various scenarios of what;s going to happen next. Then when I'm wrong I'm pissed.
To piggyback off of that, Netflix just procured a deal with the CW Network that allows them to be the only streaming service to air that network's shows, which at first seems great because new seasons will be put on Netflix eight days after the final episode of that season airs. Yes, I won't have to wait months before watching a new season but for those of us who liked to catch up on their shows the day after on say, Hulu (the Gretchen Wieners to Netflix's Regina George,) that's no longer an option now. Now I've got to wait until the end of the season to catch up on my Jane the Virgin and by then I've already forgotten what has happened in earlier seasons and I'm left with holes in the plotline. Not cool Netflix, not cool.
But let me tell you what is really working my nerves, this Disney and Netflix partnership. When I first heard Netflix was inking a deal with Disney I was like yaaaasss Netflix, slay bitch. Then I actually read the fine print and saw where they weren't streaming the entire Disney archive just those movies produced from 2016 and beyond. WHAT. THE. HELL! Why would you play with my emotions like that? Netflix had me thinking I was going to get to watch Toy Story, The Little Mermaid and my personal favorite, The Lion King, anytime I wanted to.
This was such a petty move. Netflix you're trifling, you and Disney both. You know the only movies we want to watch from Disney are the classics like those mentioned above, Beauty and the Beast, The Aristocats etc. We want old school Disney, not Wall-E, the sequel or Frozen 7: Elsa's Revenge.
I don't understand why you treat me so badly Netflix. I love you Netflix, why don't you love me? You and I are like peas and carrots (In my Forrest Gump voice.) So here's the deal; Netflix, get your act together or I'm breaking up with you.
