A new semester always brings new things. New notebooks, different classes, and most of all, different faces. This is even more true if you’re actively involved in your campus, seeking out new clubs and interests.
Whatever your status in university, all the way from brand-new freshman to the soon-to-graduate seniors, meetings will continue to occur no matter what you do. It might be a randomly placed roommate, your new neighbors, the people who just entered your collegiate sport or even your classmates.
The more you’ve experienced meeting different kinds of people from what you might be used to, the more you learn one indisputable truth:
You can’t please everybody.
As much as you invest time and effort into making someone like you, some people tend to stick to what they know and limit themselves from opening up to new opportunities and encounters. Most people are scared of change. They are not open to seeing a different perspective from what they have grown up with. At first, you will try to ignore this fact. You might turn a blind eye to their attitude or snide comments, telltale signs that they are not the nice person you presumed they would be. After all, each year is a fresh start. People change, right?
Still willing to give them the benefit of doubt, you rationalize their behavior with excuses, thinking about how and why they act the way they do. Trying to understand them. In your mind, you’re desperately trying to maintain a connection with this person, to like them for who they are. Yet, it happens once again. Another rude word, a dirty joke, whispers behind others’ back. And then, you find yourself facing the truth. You can’t put up with all this trying any longer. This person is NOT worth it (Sorry, Fifth Harmony!).
This will tax you mentally. It will bring you stress. It could cause you anxiety. You consider yourself a nice person. Someone that gets along well with most people, but you know you can’t be friends with everyone. Yet, some part of you still hopes it can be done. That the people who surround you want to befriend you and create memories. That they have good intentions.
It’s sad, but it’s not always the case.
Your four or five years of undergrad go by faster than what you think. It’s over and done with in the blink of an eye. That’s why I want to tell you this: cut off the people who are negative influences in your life. Those that make you feel like the air is taut with tension, that seem to emit a nasty aura around them, and that make you feel like you might choke. They’re toxic and you do not need poison.
I can assure you will find another group of people with similar interests as you. That someone out there, within your university, shares a common interest. And even if your similarities might not be obvious at first, they will eventually come to light, and you will have found the friend you had been looking for.
You will be much happier. Disassociating yourself from those type of people will let you relax and enjoy your college life much more. Being a young adult is already hard, so why make it even more unpleasant by surrounding yourself with bad vibes? Once these people are out of your life, you will feel an incredible difference. You will feel relieved. An almost inner peace settles over you, making you relax. You do no longer have to push yourself to be with people who are toxic for your environment.
At the end of the day, you will appreciate much more being around those that are willing to accept you for who you are. The nice people. People who have responded to your kindness with a kindness of their own. Those that you call friends. It’s them who will be there for you when you’re feeling blue and it’s also them who will make you smile when frustration takes over.
So, let all those rude people go and appreciate the good. Take care of yourself first, and then the rest, the people who are worth it, will show themselves to you all on their own.
