I am standing on the edge of the world.

Hundreds of feet below me, I can hear the ocean crash angrily against the slippery cliffs. It pulls in and pushes out, a never ending force of pure power. The sea spray is carried by the howling wind, splashing droplets on my face. A storm is brewing out at sea, and if I look closely enough, I can see the wall of rain that is heading towards me.

The Cliffs of Moher are more magnificent in person than I could have ever imagined on my own. But as I am standing here, overwhelmed by its enormity, I am struck with a thought of how this would feel if I was with you.

I remember that day very clearly. You were excitedly describing your travel plans for that summer. Portugal first, Greece next. France, then London. I was smiling, listening, always fascinated. I had a passport that was never stamped, a wanderlust that had grown since I met you. Your stories of the world enticed me, and it took me off guard when you looked at me and said “I want you to come with me.”

I was at a loss for words. You were so excited, saying that you wanted me to meet you in Portugal, travel Europe with you. It would have been just the two of us, wandering together, taking in what the world has to offer. I would finally be leaving. It would be because of you, and what I always wanted you to do: take me away, show me what I couldn’t have imagined for myself.

That dream quickly disintegrated when we did, but you had sparked a thirst inside me that I couldn’t quite satisfy. I wanted to see the world. So, instead of traveling with you this summer, I booked my own trip instead. I was going to study abroad in Ireland, a place I had always wanted to go.

Now I am here, standing at the foot of one of the natural wonders of the world. Then it hits me—I am here, standing at the foot of one of the natural wonders of the world. I am in Ireland. I am staring at these beautiful cliffs, the angry Atlantic Ocean beating against the rocks below me. Somewhere, my new friends from the program I am with are wandering along the edge of the cliffs, snapping pictures and making memories. I have been having the most incredible time here taking classes, meeting new people, and living in a new country. This is something I could not have done if I was with you.

I had to do this without you. You sparked a wanderlust in me, but it was never up to you to fulfill it. It was always up to me. I couldn’t rely on you to show me the world because I needed to see it through my own eyes. I needed to explore for myself, and I am so proud that I am here, halfway across the globe, living and breathing and existing on my own.

The storm is getting closer. It whips my hair back, brings tears to my eyes. I inhale the salty air slowly, exhale it out to sea. I think you would be proud of me, too, if you knew that I was here right now, standing in front of the Cliffs of Moher.

I know it is time to go. The bus will be leaving soon, and I have yet to find where my new friends wandered to. With one final look of the cliffs, I turn away from the edge of the world and begin to walk towards my next adventure.