I was born with naturally curly hair. In a world where straight hair is considered the more "culturally accepted norm," I absolutely hated my locks.
When I was younger, I was constantly teased for how big and frizzy it was capable of becoming which ultimately conditioned me into hating it more. I was even called "jungle hair" once by a fellow classmate in middle school, and that's when I resorted to straightening it to a fried crisp every day for three years until the damage became irreversible.
Nonetheless, though, my parents tried tirelessly to instill the idea in me that I was beautiful without the heat I was constantly putting on my mane and that I was in fact very lucky to have such unique hair. This seemed to be the struggle.
Young girls are growing up in a world where beautiful hair was conventionally known to be smooth, silky, and straight.
Almost every girl I knew with curly hair felt the same way, and as a result, did the same things that I did to tame it. Yet, once I got to my junior year of high school, I began to wean off the heat and allow my hair to go wild.
Slowly thereafter, I started to allow curly hair to become a part of my daily routine without shame and the result was liberating. I got more compliments on my natural hair than I did with the silky straightness I aimed for. Finding the right hair products allowed me to take better care of it and the results spoke for themselves.
College in and of itself was a whole nother time period where I completely lost all regard for the opinions of others. In a setting where people show up to class in pajamas, I knew letting my curly hair be free was the least of the issues. Since my decision to stop straightening my hair every day, I have learned to love my locks. Although, it's not as easy for others to feel the same way.
So why do women have such a hard time loving their hair?
Truly, it all comes down to the stigma that society has developed about curly hair. Being told our hair is too wild, frizzy, or uncontrolled really doesn't sit well with us. Bad hair days are inevitable for even the smoothest of hair, and feeling like you have to hide who you take a massive toll on your self-esteem. Especially when the beauty standard has established that to be beautiful you must have smooth hair incapable of imperfections.
Perhaps that is what makes self-love so hard.
Beauty has such a concrete definition in our society when the reality of it is that it is not that simple. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, and textures, and realizing the importance of that idea invites one to be more comfortable in their skin. The way I see it though, that's what makes someone beautiful.
Albeit, natural hair is incredibly hard to take care of and the latter does seem more preferable. It is full of tangles, dead ends, and it's certainly hard to control. Not to mention the unbearable frizz and frustration that humidity brings. But the beauty of it outweighs the struggles it brings on.
Natural hair is full of personality, spontaneity, and unlimited hairstyles.
It frames the face more naturally, you don't have to wash it every day, and getting ready takes half the time. From what I have noticed, people with naturally curly hair have more fun personalities too.
While the struggle to love natural hair is totally understandable, it's important to realize this struggle doesn't take away from its innate beauty. Forget all the standards of beauty we have established as a society, what makes this world so beautiful are all the unique people that comprise it. While it may be easier said than done, it's time to start implementing the normality of natural hair. Women should feel beautiful in their own skin and hair for that matter. After all, our locks are beautiful without all the heat it receives.
