Life Into Your 20's

My Would Be Diary Entry: Where Do I Go From Here?

I suppose one day this grand lesson of what this all means and why I'm being placed in this position will become clear


The last couple of years of my young adulthood have placed me through the wringer to put it lightly, and the sentence that most historically follows that one is "I have learned..." However, I suffice to say I haven't. I suppose one day this grand lesson of what this all means and why I'm being placed in this position will become clear, that or I will go insane but the latter sounds a lot easier than former because then I wouldn't be held accountable for the imminent shattering of my worldview because of the learned lesson.

When I was 17, barely an adult but you start to do adult-like things so I consider myself on the path to being on anyway, I had to deal with the enormous task of choosing a college, university, or job (it should be noted that the military was never an option, which if someone knew anything about me I would've had to be dreaming to induct myself into that nightmare) that would lead to the direction my life would go. I definitely didn't want to work, because then I would have to drive and I value other's lives even though I may seem misanthropic. College was a definite option, but my bougie taste inclined me towards private liberal arts institutions, but why in the world would I pay for art lessons at 1,000 dollars a pop? So, university is what I landed on, which is not as ideal as everyone seems to make it out.

So, I was 18 and in college and hopeful, for the most part, even though I didn't get to go where I really wanted to go, didn't have any immediate friends with me, or even have a car to go back home if I wanted. Nevertheless, I make friends, not many but I make them, then I lose those friends not in a huge fight but in one of those silent fading ways. After I lost more friends from high school that didn't keep in touch. I thought I was in love for a brief period, but that's a thing to be reciprocated and the situationship was not a mutual endeavor.

Now I'm 19, disillusioned and a bit sad. Of course, my issues now are more psychological than physical I've been told if people were in my position they wouldn't squander it the way that I do, this is possibly the biggest issue I have right now. What is the point of my situation being more painful if it doesn't have to be if this isn't my time why am I so hurt by empty time? I am told that it will get better, it just takes time, you'll find the way someday, but I can't shake the unpleasant feeling that it won't. The feeling that there is no better, and that I have exhausted all the opportunities I was given.

This is not the first time I've written on this topic, in fact, it may be my favorite thing to write about (being lost). My 20th birthday is around the corner and I'm sure if my 20's are anything like my late teen years then I'll just accept that this is the way things are meant.

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.

When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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If Shonda Can Do A Year Of Yes, Then So Can I



A few years ago, Shonda Rimes decided to do a year of saying yes, after her sister told her she says "No" to everything. It ended up changing her life.

So, I've decided to embark on my own year of yes.

Sure, it may be easy to say yes to everything when you're a millionaire with a bunch of record-setting televisions shows, but the rest of us can do it too.

Say yes to treating yourself.

Say yes to taking care of yourself.

Say yes to saying no, don't stretch yourself too thin.

Say yes to new opportunities

The year of yes is about taking better care of yourself.

My year of yes starts right now.

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