I'm not writing this for attention, or for you to feel sorry for me. That's the exact opposite of what I want... If someone out there is reading this and has either gone through this, or is in the middle of it right now, just know that you are not alone, and it will get better and you will definitely get through this.
I guess I'll start at the beginning. He seemed perfect. He was kind, smart, witty, incredibly charming, and always said the right thing. Everyone loved him, but sometimes if it seems too good to be true it is. When you are in a toxic situation sometimes you don't notice how poisonous the relationship is.
Your Attitude Begins to Change
Before him, I was so happy and smiling all the time. My mom said that I had a glow, but slowly that started to fade the longer I was exposed to the toxicity. You will begin to change and become someone you don't recognize, and losing yourself is not worth any relationship or boy.
Broken Promises and Empty I Love You's
Was the entirety of the relationship, which is so unhealthy, but if you are blinded by "love" you won't notice it until it's too late. Idk about anyone else, but to me, "I Love You" is the most powerful and sacred sentence you could ever say to anyone. I believe that so much that I won't say it until I mean it. How can you tell someone you love them and then cheat on them? That's something I'll never understand.
He Cheated
I guess this is the point where the relationship truly got toxic. We fought all the time and were never happy. I guess he was so unhappy that he had to find happiness with someone else. I'll never understand why, but I do forgive him. Not because he deserves it, but so it can bring me closure.
When They Said "I tore your page out of my biography" I Really Felt That.
We had some happy times, but most of it was negative, and all I did was cry. It is not worth it people!!!! Do NOT jeopardize your happiness because you are scared of being alone. I am the happiest I have been in over a year because I AM NOT STUCK IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP! I know it's scary, and that you might actually love him. I know I did, and I always will, but you deserve so much more.
You are not alone, and you are way stronger than what he/she is telling you. Don't listen to the negative remarks and meaningless apologies. Just be a little selfish and take some time for you because you deserve it.
