It was my last day before Spring break when I received the news that my college would be issuing a soft-close until May 1st before re-evaluating. This was not a shock as many other colleges in California were already closing. Then two days later, I received a notice from my job that the entire staff was being laid off due to lack of safety precautions. Two days later, all non-essential businesses were closed. Two-days later, I filed for unemployment. After I applied the numbers in the unemployed began to rise to 5 million, 10 million, 17 million. And I was quarantined at home, working online for school. Within the second week of quarantine, I broke part of my foot; however, not wanting to go to a hospital. I used a boot from a previous injury and kept off it for a couple weeks. Not only was I forced to stay in my house, I was not able to exercise or interact with many besides my family and close friends.
I am a natural stressor. I stress about everything. I stress about me not being able to attend my classes because zoom won't load. I stress about the fact that I don't have a laptop and no job to pay for one. I stress about when I finally get enough money to buy one, the shipping is delayed because it is deemed as a non-essential item. I stress about the mountains of homework, essays, and projects that have been thrown at me for the past two months. I stress about the lack of contact I get to have with my friends. I stress about the fact that I am transferring in the fall and will miss out on all orientations. I stress out about being put on the wailist for my top school. I stress about not knowing how I will afford college this year because tuition prices will stay the same and the fact, I am no longer guaranteed housing. I stress about the uncertainty of where I will be in the fall, if anywhere. I am stressed about the lack of motivation I am feeling and the energy it takes for me to complete all of the work I have to do.
I am aware of the realities of this disease. I am not blaming anyone fighting to prevent the spread of COVID-19 for the stress that I have been enduring. However, I do blame the lack of sympathy coming from some institutions, including colleges. No one can deem what is essential and what is not essential. I am not able to do my schoolwork to proficiency due to my lack of technology that keeps being delayed in delivery because it was deemed non-essential. I was marked down for missing classes that I was not even able to attend because Zoom wouldn't load for over a week (which I emailed them about). There is a lack of sympathy right now and that is not okay. That is what stresses me the most.
