Six years' time is very long

It's long enough to experience more of life yet

Six years' time was very hard

Experience life, I did, but I couldn't help but think:

The time I graduated college, how you were supposed to be there

The time I saw different friends come and go, that you would always be there

Even the time I took that risk of changing my angle on life, how you would be there to give me encouragement

How our almost mirrored dreams would be accomplished together…..

Yes, six years' time is, in fact, long

But without you, it was harder

I think the realization hit every time I walked into the store to buy flowers

The average occasion would fall under the assumption that the flowers would be given to someone that was expecting to see you

You were expecting to see me

But, not in your tangible body

But with your soul

Your soul waited for my visits, and that was the thing that made me realize:

She's gone, and that was it

So, the garden of other souls who waited for their visitors became our time together

Our middle ground among those with their tangible bodies

But you waited and even during your time here, you were ever so patient even when I was not

There were six years-worth of sadness and bittersweet memories of our smiles and laughs

Of that last message, promising to meet up again

I wonder how our laughs would've sounded had we met up again….

But in six years, that goal we had, although mine tailored a bit with time, has become clearer

It has begun to make sense, and the many doubts I ever had begun to fade away

But please understand: the sixth year was one of the hardest

The sixth year was also one of the most complex

And I can hear your words, pushing me more into my dreams

I can hear you saying, 'I know you can do it! We got this.'

As I walk into my unknown future looking back at six years' worth of life without you,

I can still feel your tug on my sleeve, telling me, 'You still got a lot of work to do girl!'

Laughing along the way

Happy birthday, Olivia. I'll live life like you're right beside me.