As with most people, when asked how I was as a freshman in high school, I typically shutter. I think about all the ways I could describe myself. Mainly, I was just your average socially-awkward-pale kid, who had the posture of a deformed beaver. Tackle this along with acne, braces, and a social circle full of friends who were toxic, and I noticed I needed a change.
I wanted to be better with people. I saw individuals who could be acquaintances with almost anyone at the drop of an introduction, and I longed to be like them. So, I began to study social skills—watching people in action to perfect the art of friendships, humor, and relationships.
I know what you’re thinking—that sounds either really sad or the foundation of a sociopath’s rise to power. However, I’ve learned a lot over the years about social relationships and how to overcome the blatant sense of “I’m going to mess this up.”
Here are five ways I’ve gotten better:
1. Caffeine
This is not for everyone. We all know people who don’t need to be caffeinated. But caffeine definitely has helped elevate my happiness levels, increased my awareness, and definitely made it easier to talk to strangers. For those “people” who don’t like coffee, there are caffeine pills available on Amazon that are pretty cheap—just be careful with them. With great power comes great responsibility.
An alternative to caffeine is listening to this song on repeat.
2. Humor and Self-Deprecation
Everyone likes the funny, life-of-the-party friend, who never seems to act awkward—whether they are in a group of twenty or alone, one-on-one. One celebrity that is extremely well-liked is Jennifer Lawrence. I’ve learned a lot about how to present myself when first meeting strangers from her.
She has mastered the art of self-deprecation and being the down-to-earth, Kentucky girl that America loves. Just do a quick YouTube search of “Jennifer Lawrence interviews” and you will not only laugh your ass off, but you’ll realize you don’t have to have a perfect introduction when you meet someone new.
3. Knowing a Lot about a Little
One of the best ways to get to know someone is to find out what they are interested in. I use this to my advantage while watching educational videos on YouTube. Each channel tackles different topics which expand your knowledge — from topics such as global politics, health, science, entertainment, film, all the way to technology.
Some of my favorite channels I recommend are:
Vox
Nerdwriter1
Vlogbrothers
LastWeekTonight
Kaptainkristian
CharismaOnCommand
The Verge
TED-Ed
VICE
CrashCourse
4. Study Experts in their Field
Dedicated mother to the entire world, Oprah Winfrey, helped me out so much with her series Master Class on her channel, OWN. The show follows a well-known individual who has experience in a variety of fields, discussing their life and lessons they have learned.
Celebrities such as Maya Angelou, Diane Sawyer, Jay-Z, Ellen DeGeneres, The Rock, and Oprah, all get vulnerable and discuss their defeats and triumphs. These segments showed me that everyone struggles, and that if these individuals can struggle and achieve greatness, so can I and so can you.
5. Pushing Through It
Sometimes your conversations with people are going to get awkward. There are times when you just have to push past the overwhelming uncomfortableness that comes with interacting with people. This could be a tough conversation, a job interview, applying for a loan, or sometimes even talking to someone on the phone.
Sometimes it can be a normal conversation that you make awkward—a joke that doesn’t quite hit, taking too long of a pause, telling people pineapple belongs on pizza—these things happen.
I myself find that I talk too fast and mess up my words at times. I usually crack a joke saying, “words are hard.” And yes, words are hard. Life is too. Brush it off. Get back out there, and be the best person you can be.