My Relationship Theory: How Relationships SHOULD work!
Start writing a post

My Relationship Theory: How Relationships SHOULD work!


My Relationship Theory: How Relationships SHOULD work!

***The following article is all based on observation data from multiple couples, and observing multiple behaviors through a period of time. This information is probably not correct, but it may be correct it is just sadly a hypothesis. Take it with a grain of salt! Enjoy the humor!***

I am a person who is usually constantly in relationships, and sees others in relationships. Oh, you should have seen me cringe as i said that. Through significant trial and era i have realized that the average relationship (short term) lasts anywhere from 6-8 weeks for your average 13-mid twenty year olds. If he is not into long term dating, and he just found "the one" give it time. You will be there to pick him up when he falls. You will have your chance in the spotlight. The long term relationship can last between 2-4 years. Now these are watching multiple couples throughout the years, and taking careful mental notes on behaviors. This article is a humorous article based on a theory i have been messing around with. Enjoy.

So...lets start with an obvious question:

What are your theories for the stages of relationships?

Here they are my friend, here they are!:

1. Interested- You are interested in someone. You want to learn more about them.

2. Perusal- This is the stage where you attempt to get to know someone.

3. Crushing- After you pursue, you start to develop the feels. Dangerous things.

4. Courting- This is where you just start dating. Just going out. The actually hanging out in public stage.

Oh and if they dont like you its like:

5. DTR- This is where you define the relationship. This is where you say you guys are "together".

6. Together stage- This is where you guys are physically a thing.

7. Sexual stage- It starts with:

a. touching, b. kissing, c. sex dude sex.

Otherwise known as:

8. Fighting- Okay so there are multiple arguments that come. The magic number i believe is 3. 3 arguments before you finally really start to get pissed. If you make it through the arguments, good for you; you have survived the purge. If you dont argue, that good. You have skipped said stage. Hopefully you will never argue. This stage can make or break you. Come out strong guys.

9. If you pass fighting you move onto looking for the ring- Person likes you. They really like you now.

If they dont put a ring on it then its:

10. Engagement- You have planned an engagement.

11. Marriage- You are married.

12. Baby- Dis is important. You has baby.

13. And the ownage stage- Now your woman or man owns you for life because you got baby.

14. Divorce- If that happens its after baby usually unless for some reason baby dosnt happen. Sorry guys. But to try to avoid it heres a meme for the guys:

And then THIS:

15. She gets everything - Thats exactly what happens in this stage. Or he. Your superior will get everything dude. Face it.

16. Broke- You are broke. You are singing this:

17. Crying- You cry yourself to sleep. Usually to this song:

18. Why- You cry why and ask why it happened.

19. Denial - You deny everything happened.

20. Everything happens all over again/Happiness stage- Yeah you realize you can find somebody better.

When is the appropriate time to have sex-

After the second or third date.

What do i do when everything is on the brink of falling apart-

Play this song, and have a good cry... it all goes downhill from here...:

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

A Beginner's Wine Appreciation Course

While I most certainly do not know everything, I feel like I know more than the average 21-year-old about vino, so I wrote this beginner's wine appreciate course to help YOU navigate the wine world and drink like a pro.

White wine being poured into a glass

Keep Reading...Show less
Types of ice cream

Who doesn't love ice cream? People from all over the world enjoy the frozen dessert, but different countries have their own twists on the classic treat.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

100 Reasons to Choose Happiness

Happy Moments to Brighten Your Day!

A man with a white beard and mustache wearing a hat

As any other person on this planet, it sometimes can be hard to find the good in things. However, as I have always tried my hardest to find happiness in any and every moment and just generally always try to find the best in every situation, I have realized that your own happiness is much more important than people often think. Finding the good in any situation can help you to find happiness in some of the simplest and unexpected places.

Keep Reading...Show less

Remember The True Meaning of Christmas

“Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you?”

A painting of the virgin Mary, the baby Jesus, and the wise men

It’s everyone’s favorite time of year. Christmastime is a celebration, but have we forgotten what we are supposed to be celebrating? There is a reason the holiday is called Christmas. Not presentmas. Not Santamas. Not Swiftmas. Christmas.

boy standing in front of man wearing santa claus costume Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash

What many people forget is that there is no Christmas without Christ. Not only is this a time to spend with your family and loved ones, it is a time to reflect on the blessings we have gotten from Jesus. After all, it is His birthday.

Keep Reading...Show less
Golden retriever sat on the sand with ocean in the background
Photo by Justin Aikin on Unsplash

Anyone who knows me knows how much I adore my dog. I am constantly talking about my love for her. I attribute many of my dog's amazing qualities to her breed. She is a purebred Golden Retriever, and because of this I am a self-proclaimed expert on why these are the best pets a family could have. Here are 11 reasons why Goldens are the undisputed best dog breed in the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments