In last five or so years, I’ve lost a considerable number of people to death. It hasn’t just been family; it’s been people that I admired and looked up to. So, this is my rant/ metaphorical middle finger to death and time, the two things on this earth that no matter how hard we try we cannot control.

My father was among the people that I’ve lost. He was only 53 years old. A heart attack took him away from me. The suckiest part of all, out of everything was before he died, we had a huge fight and I was mad at him. It was so stupid that I don’t even remember what the fight was about. Last week, one of my cousins died as well. I flew down to Georgia for the funeral and it brought back so many memories of being there for my father’s funeral. I felt angry all over again that he had been taken from me. I’m still working on the five stages of grief. I can’t seem to move past the anger stage. It took me three months to come out denial after my father died and when it finally hit me, I had a massive panic attack and I felt like I was going to die.

There are so many things that remind me of him. Car shows during the summer, movies that come out that I know he would love, his favorite holidays, I still can’t get through Christmas and his birthday without crying like a baby.

Enough of that. Here is my Ode to death and time.

Death and Time, the two things that we can’t control.

Death is a thief coming to take the ones we love away. It doesn’t care how many loved ones are left behind or how many people will miss its victim.

I hate you death, you stink.

Time is your evil partner in crime. The two of you creep around searching for someone to take. Someone to add to your vast darkness and pit of despair.

You leave trails of loved ones in the wake of your destruction. Never satisfied, you hunt endlessly all over the earth. No one is safe from you. No one can hide. One day the two of you will come for us all. Tick tock and the clock runs out.

Time wears us down until we are ready for death, then death slithers in like a snake on its belly and it consumes what is left of us.

Time is something that we never really think about. Rush, rush, hurry up, always doing things with urgency. We never really revel in a moment of time because life doesn’t allow for it. All our clocks are ticking and we don’t want to let the time run out before we accomplish what we see as important: work, school, meetings, are any of those things important? No.

Family, friends, and relationships are where we should focus our time. The kids grow up so fast and we barely notice. Don’t take the people in your life for granted; let them know what they are worth to you. Share your time before it’s all gone because one day it will be and death will be all that’s left.

Don’t hold grudges and resentment towards the people that you love. I did that with my dad and I thought that there would be time to get over it but there wasn’t. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I thought that my dad was like Superman, invincible and my greatest hero, but now I will spend the rest of life regretting the fact that I was mad at him.

So, take my advice. Mend your relationships with the people that you’re mad at, be quick to forgive and learn to live in the moment with family and friends because you never know how long they have left.

I would like to dedicate this work to all the family members that I’ve lost and to Chris Cornell of Sound Garden as well as Chester Bennington of Linkin Park. I admired all of you. Death had no right to claim you when it did. All of you left impressions on my life and I thank every one of you. I hope that you are all resting in peace and in the presence of the most high.