Some people wear make-up because they're uncomfortable with their naked face. Some people are totally confident and just love the art of make up. I'm somewhere in between.

My face has good days and bad days. I would assume (or at least hope) that other people experience this as well. Is it possible for our eyes to actually be further apart on some days than others? Can our eyebrows droop sometimes? Can our lips get thinner? These are questions I ask myself on days where I feel I cannot leave the house without make-up.

I like to think that at least a few people look up to me at least a little bit, so I regularly try to show that it's okay to choose to leave your room without make-up, not just because you were running late and didn't have time to do it. However, I always have days where I feel that I need to do my make-up before I can go anywhere. I'm uncomfortable looking in a mirror before my make-up is done. I'll make myself late just to make sure my eyebrows are presentable and my eyelashes are as long as can be.

Recently, I was having one of these days. I woke up and desperately needed to put on my make-up as soon as possible. I refused to look in the mirror and tried really hard to reply to snapchats from my friends, but couldn't stand the sight of myself on my screen. My skintone was uneven, my eyes looked too tired, did I even have eyebrows? Once I sat down to put my make-up on, I felt at ease. I was comfortable. I could control all the flaws I couldn't stand to look at. I also realized that this was extremely unhealthy. I was going to a family event. There was no one there that I needed to impress or that would love me any less if I showed up without being all done up. On the flip side, I'm a big fan of looking good because I want to look good, not to make other people look at me. So why was I so uncomfortable? Why couldn't I stand my own face that I loved on other days? I knew I didn't need to impress anyone, no matter where I was going, so why did I need to impress myself? I thought all day about what it was that made me so uncomfortable in my own skin and I couldn't figure it out.

I was leaving the next day to go to the beach with my family for a few weeks and I decided that I would try to go the whole vacation without putting any make-up on. The first few days were a small adjustment. Make-up was my safety net. If I didn't like what I saw in the mirror, my first instinct would be to grab my cosmetic bag. But I didn't. I held my ground and within the first week I was okay with looking in the mirror. Within the second week, I wasn't having any trouble with what I saw in the mirror. I didn't feel the need to grab my mascara. I was sending snap chats of my whole face instead of only showing half of it or hiding behind my hair. By the third week I wasn't even thinking about make up. I wasn't wondering if other people were judging me for looking the way I did. I started to feel better about my body as well. If people could see my real face, then they could see my real body. I wore a bikini on the beach for the first time in five years. I was feeling unapologetically me.

Normally, I would freak out if I was around someone I had a crush on without make- up. By the fourth week, I didn't even think about it! It literally didn't cross my mind and it was amazing. I smiled wide and posted selfies on Instagram. I felt amazing. I still had a couple of days toward the end of the month where I started to hate my face again. I struggled through those days, but was determined to finish out the month make-up free. I also didn't feel as awful as I normally did on days like that. It wasn't constantly on my mind and it didn't stop me from doing anything.

However, as much as I loved how I looked, I missed doing my make up. Like I said before, I didn't only wear make up because I hated my face. I wore it because it's an art form and it's fun! The first day I wore make up again, I was excited all day to get back to it. When I finally did my make up , I looked in the mirror and my first thought was that I looked like a clown. That wasn't my face. I looked absolutely ridiculous. It took a full a hour and constant reassurance from my friends to convince me that I looked normal and wasn't too done up. I was so used to my natural features that I didn't even realize how over exaggerated they would look once I put make up on again.

I don't plan on going this long without make up again unless I start to feel that I absolutely need it, because that's when it becomes problematic for me. When I do my make up it will be because I feel like it, not because I need to impress anyone.