My Life Is Crammed And I Love It

I know that for most people, having some time to relax and catch up with things is nice. It can give people a moment to breathe from life's busiest moments, but if anyone were to look inside of my planner, they'd see that I have no opportunity to even sit with the intent of relaxing. Do I hate it? No. I found out over the years, surprisingly, that I'd much rather prefer a busy schedule. I've had a busy schedule as far as I can remember. There was always sports and clubs to go to after a long day at school, a time for homework, and work as I got older too. Filling my schedule up with designated times for different things helps me understand what I need to do when.

Why would I want to do that to myself though?

I'm someone who prefers to have a structure to my day. Free time, for me, is dangerous. If I ever sit down and hop onto Netflix with no plans for the rest of the night, I'd probably have to have one of my roommates drag me out of bed. I'd become this person who is the laziest on the planet and will refuse to move. I'm also the biggest procrastinator if I'm given too much time for myself to handle.

Having a structured schedule gives me almost a certain mindset to get things done.

I have everything in my planner laid out for me: when different classes are, when work is, when I study, and when I work out. I know this sounds weird, but this is my style of life. Personally, I don't understand how people can go without such a structure. Whatever works for the best is fine! People can live however they please! It's just hard for me to comprehend how some people (like my amazing mom) can take it day by day.

Using her as an example, my mom is great at planning things! But she also likes to relax and sometimes does whatever she wants, depending on how the day is going. Unlike me, she's at ease with each day that passes and doesn't plan too far ahead in the future. I know that I should take that strategy into account, it would definitely help with my stress, but it would take a lot of practice to achieve a peaceful lifestyle like that.

Maybe I do it as a way to calm down.

To me, sitting down and filling in times for whatever I have going on that week (or even month because I love to plan way too early) helps my racing mind slow down and take a small moment. I can focus on being creative with the colors I use instead of focusing on when I'll have time to eat between classes.

Some people might be able to relate to what I'm talking about, whether it's the hectic schedules to calming down when planning, but I know for sure that the next time I look at my planner, I guess I'll try to schedule a time to actually relax...

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