I just finished my last Fall semester of an undergraduate program and am back home for my last "Winter Break," ever. It's a bittersweet moment, walking through the doors of my parents home, knowing that this may be my last substantial amount of time spent here. I've had three "winter breaks," fifteen collective weeks that all shaped the woman I am today. It's unbelievable that four years have come and gone, and now I have to start thinking about the rest of my life. I'm asked every day;

"Where are you going after college?"

"Have you thought about your plans after school?"

"Have you found a job?"

"What are you going to do for money?"

These are questions I just simply do not have the answers to... yet.

I never thought about the impact my college years would have on me, but when I look back now, I owe a lot to these last four years. I've come back a slightly different person during each "winter break." I used to be a teenager who thought she knew everything, and now I am an adult who knows a lot about some things, but still has a lot to learn. I've had to adjust myself mentally and take charge of my own life in order to pave a path for my future. I know that sounds cheesier than a $.99 Hallmark graduation card, but it's extremely true. Before settling on an art college, I wanted to be a music producer, and then I wanted to be a Cosmetologist, and then I was reminded of my love for writing and decided to go all in. I didn't know what I wanted, I didn't know what jobs I could get after college, I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a writer... but college was my only option.

During these last four breaks, i've been forced to reflect on not inly myself and my wants/needs, goals and dreams... but i've been forced to reflect on the people i've allowed to be a part of my life. I've learned that I don't care about having a boat load of friends, i'm the type of person who values a select few that I can trust and consider to be my family. I've learned that anger doesn't solve everything, but passiveness gets you nowhere, fast. I once thought I wanted to be as far away from my hometown as possible, but these last few years has taught me, if anything, the value of comping back to a place where everyone knows your name.

Although I am a few friends shorter, a few sizes larger, and a couple legal shots down... this last winter break has given me a huge sense of peace of mind. I feel a natural panic for moving out and moving on, but I also feel confident. And that, reader, is something I did go looking for.