Christmas is a magical time. Once the Thanksgiving dishes have been washed and put away we begin dragging all things Christmas out of boxes and totes from the basement and garage. The tree gets set up in its stand and strung with lights, sometimes accompanied by garland and/or shiny tinsel. Ornaments are hung with care. In the case of my family we set aside fancy bulbs and replace them with sentimental pieces representing each family member that multiply year after year as we always receive a new one in our stockings. We arrange an army of decorative Santa's on top of the piano, and hang signs and decorations we have made and collected over the years. Children dress up in sparkly dresses, and tiny button down shirts and ties for their Christmas concert. The magic in the air is unmistakable.
I am on my own for the first time this Christmas. I'm no longer living in the safety of my parents' home. I'm not digging through family decorations reminiscing. I haven't baked Christmas cookies or driven through town cooing at the lights strung on homes. No matter how much Christmas music I play, how many Christmas movies I watch, or how much snow falls I just don't feel the magic this year
I find myself wondering if this is just how it is for adults? Does the magic fade for everyone? But I don't believe it. I can't. I've heard the excitement in my mom's voice when she talks about getting the perfect gift for one of my sisters. I see the way my grandma lights up when she gets a sentimental gift she didn't expect. When I look at my sad little tree in the corner of my apartment with about a dozen ornaments and no angel sitting proudly on top I yearn for the twinkling lights and excitement oozing from the little ones as they count down the days until Santa comes.
Though my apartment looks bare and sad this year I know this will change before I know it. There will come a day when I have gathered more ornaments, purchased an angel for my tree, collected more Christmas decorations, and have children of my own to buy gifts for, see the excitement in their eyes, and share the holiday with. Until that time I will save my money to buy all the leftover Christmas decorations in two and a half weeks, finish purchasing gifts for my loved ones, bake cookies, wrap presents, and spend time with the little people in my life that can't help but be excited by the magic of Christmas.
