Recently in my life, the concept of character has come up very often. And in some cases, even put to the test. So it got me thinking, what is character to me?

As I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that for me character is defined as more than just our words. Character is more than just possessing good qualities. Have you ever heard the saying actions speak louder than words? I see this in my life and I would have to agree with this statement. I believe character is defined more by what we do, rather than what we say. People can lie. This is a sad, but true statement. People can and most often will lie. However, if you do the right thing no one can say that you did wrong. It is hard to deny a proven fact and it is easier to testify to someone’s character when they give you no reason to doubt it.

A small example of where I see actions speaking louder than words is in a pat on the back rather than the words of affirmation. I recognize that both are of an encouraging manner and intended to be kind. However, have you ever heard the “good job” or the “you got the next one” that did not sound completely honest. Now I know many people can and do say it and mean it. That is not my point. It is a show of good character when people say these kind things.

However, sometimes I think saying it and not meaning it can hurt more than if they had not said anything at all. I have seen this all too often and I think it reflects poorly on their character because it is a forced show of kindness. I hate forced kindness. The only kindness that I really believe is worth giving is genuine, heartfelt kindness. I have never seen the pat on the back that was not genuine and honest. It achieves the same message, but it cannot be twisted into not meaning its intent. The person that pats you on the back believes that you will get the next one, truly believes it. This represents their character just as much as saying the words represents the person who says the words. In this way, character is defined by more than just our words, but our actions too.

Sometimes I think people forget that their actions can affect others. That their character can affect others. I am sure you all remember that person in high school that had poor character. Maybe they did bad things, or maybe it was just their attitude. Well if these people had siblings, often times we associate one's character with the other sibling. Even if this is not the case. I think it is just in human nature to judge. One sibling's display of unsavory character can make people assume things about the other sibling’s character. Even if the good sibling works hard to get rid of their sibling's reputation-- like I said earlier it is easier to testify to someone’s character if they give you no reason to doubt it. Well, the same thing applies when you represent something or someone, it is easier to represent it when you have good character.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that actions speak louder than words especially when it comes to defining character. That’s my definition of character, what’s yours?