My Confession To You | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

My Confession To You

24
My Confession To You
Wikipedia

By the time you read this, whoever be drawn in, it is safe to say that I will be in Four Winds Mental Hospital for the second time. This was not typed up soon before you read it – know that I’ll be home soon. The topic matter, however, is not time sensitive.

What I want to talk to you about today is what is commonly referred to as ‘caretaker codependency’. A blessing, and a curse. It is shining armor, lined with inward facing thorns.

So, what is it? What the hell does that even mean? Well, this is a form of codependency in which the codependent person tries to fix everyone’s problems, usually out of worry or self-proclaimed responsibility. This behavior is most commonly seen in those close to an alcoholic, particularly family members. Shoutout to Dad for the new set of armor.

Time and time again, coworkers and affiliates otherwise have noted the behavior. I do well in retail, love to host parties, and make sure my loved ones are well cared for as best I can. The people around me are my focus, and if an atmosphere or mood of a room changes, I’ll be the first one to tell you.

Seems great, right? Well, not exactly.

On the bright side of things, yes, caretaker codependency breeds selfless and passionate people, and “paying it forward” is not occasion to them, it’s a daily ritual. But the behavior has its negatives, and doesn’t come without a price.

Those who struggle with caretaker codependency rely on others’ happiness to find purpose, which, I’m sure you know, simply isn’t sustainable. Those who find themselves in this position have an extremely tough time letting go of people, and easily feel like a failure when they cannot deliver. Worst of all, they try to please everyone. We’ve all learned from a young age that this simply isn’t possible.

Don’t be alarmed. Try and be patient. We mean well.

For those of us who are in touch with our problem that is caretaker codependency, we know that sometimes, our attempt to please everyone has hurt another, which truthfully makes us feel worse. Again, we wish everyone could be happy, even if some of those people have wronged us.

It’s a tough case, all in all. It’s a fine line between pathological, and normal human behavior. Everyone wants to make people happy. Everyone wants to deliver. But it’s when you don’t take care of yourself as a result of pleasing others.

Here, to those who still read, is my confession. I don’t know if I’m writing this more for you or me, but I’m writing it, and that’s what matters. When I went to Four Winds for the first time, I absorbed knowledge. I listened, learned, and even raised my hands frequently. All until the codependency group. I reared, and huffed and puffed, and told my friends and family that there was nothing wrong with this behavior, that I was passionate and that people wish they could find people who love with their whole heart. Part of that is true, passion is good. But the truth is, this is a problem for me, and, in an indirect way, is a way of me putting my emotional weight on people.

In owning up to my flaws, as I always seek to as it’s necessary for growth and development, I want you to know that there is likely a case in which I have done this to you. It’s not fair, and I’m sorry.

This may be my last article to you, it may not. Right now, I’m going to focus on making me better, and giving the world the William Pattee it deserves.

Be well.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
university
University of Nebraska at Omaha

Creating your schedule for the upcoming semester can be an exciting process. You have the control to decide if you want to have class two-days a week or five-days a week. You get to check things off of your requirement checklist. It's an opportunity for a fresh start with new classes (which you tell yourself you'll never skip.) This process, which always starts out so optimistic, can get frustrating really quickly. Here are 25 thoughts you have when registering for classes.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

10 Thoughts Of A 5th Year Senior

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

793
college shirt
pointsincase.com

"College will be the best four years of your life" is a phrase that we have all heard growing up. College is painted as a magical place to us while we are in high school. A place you go to learn, meet your best friends and probably have the time of your life while all of this is going down. Four whirlwind years, where everything that you've known changes and you start to learn what it means to live on your own, have a job, etc. But what about those of us who don't do this all in four years? Major changes, hard courses, switching schools, career paths changing, these are just a handful of factors that could extend your four years to five, six or seven. There is nothing wrong with taking extra time to graduate, but returning as a fifth-year is a little different. Most of your best friends have most likely graduated and moved and while you may be one of the oldest undergraduates on campus, you might feel as awkward as a freshmen. A world that became home and comfortable to you is still there but it's slightly different than you've known it to be and you have to find a groove to fall into. These are thoughts you'll have as you look ahead to returning to your college campus, with a victory lap planned.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

17 Times "Friends" Accurately Described Life

You can't say that no one told you life was gonna be this way.

102
friends

In the 12 years since it went off the air, "Friends" continues to be adored by millions. The show that gave generations unrealistic expectations about love (or should I say lobsters?) and New York City apartments had a charming cast of characters that everyone could relate to at some point or another. Here are 17 times Ross, Monica, Joey, Chandler, Phoebe and Rachel accurately described life.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Times Aubrey Plaza Described Sophomore Year

"I don't want to do things. I want to do not things."

474
Aubrey Plaza
Flickr Creative Commons

Aubrey Plaza is one of my favorite humans in Hollywood. She's honest, blunt, unapologetic, and hilarious. I just started my sophomore year of college, and found that some of her best moments can accurately describe the start of the school year.

1. When your advisor tells you that you should declare a major soon.

2. Seeing the lost and confused freshmen and remembering that was you a short year ago, and now being grateful you know the ins and outs of the campus.

3. Going to the involvement fair to sign up for more clubs knowing that you are already too involved.

4. When you actually do the reading required for the first class.

5. Seeing your friends for the first time since last semester.

6. When you're already drowning in homework during syllabus week.

7. Realizing you don't have the same excitement for classes as you did as a freshman.

8. Going home and seeing people from high school gets weirder the older you get.

Keep Reading...Show less
graduation

Things you may not realize are different between high school and college:

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments