As I moved out of my freshman dorm, wheeling out tubs and suitcases full of clothes, decorations, food, and the work from this year, I had one luring thought... I made it.
I am currently in my bedroom at home, in Easton, Pennsylvania, but when I left the University of Maryland after my last final exam of freshman year, I felt like I was leaving home in College Park, Maryland.
It was an interesting phenomenon handing in my key and walking out of my freshman dorm for the very last time. I'm the kind of person that has thoughts like "last time in this elevator," and "last time touching my doorknob," among many others that are similar. When I walked out of my freshman dorm for the last time though, I started to feel nostalgic. It felt like Move-In Day in August - similar hot weather, sweating my butt off with my dad wheeling the heaviest of bags, and having him ask me the same question... "did you really need to bring all of this stuff?"
It's surreal to think that nine months of my life flew by. During the fall and spring semesters, there were times when it felt like a total drag. However, when it all stops and comes to an end, suddenly, it feels like it went by in the blink of an eye.
This school taught me more than just how to begin my architectural career, get through calculus and physics, cram for exams, and manage my time. I learned the most about who I am, and what I stand for.
If I could be honest, during the first semester and the start of the second semester, I was the most confused I ever was in my entire life. I was having second, third, and fourth thoughts as to why I chose Maryland and didn't go to a school in-state, closer to home. I was wondering why I didn't have a friend group yet. I was wondering if I would be ready to start a life in the greater Washington D.C. area post-graduation. And lastly, I was wondering what I was missing, when I had everything right in front of me.
That's when I started building an even bigger relationship with God than I already had.
I decided to write a prayer on a notepad. Unfortunately (but fortunately), I threw away the note today, because I didn't need it anymore. Basically, it went along the lines of asking God for His help during this time of complete frustration and sadness. I was considering transferring schools, since my first semester did not lead up to my expectations. I knew I couldn't make the decision on my own though. There was just no way to do that without stressing out and putting enormous pressure on myself.
Suddenly, everything began to change, and I started looking at my surroundings in a new perspective. I became confident in myself and my independence, focusing on my studies first (always). Everything started to fall into place on its own. I would sometimes go to sports games alone, (which didn't bother me because I do what I want no matter what), but eventually, I had friends to go with. I got more involved in architecture, and starting talking to two girls who I can see myself being close friends with throughout college and beyond. After four years of not picking up a bat, I decided to go out for the club softball team. And above all, I got more involved with my Christian group called Young Life (which I cannot even begin to explain how much that club has impacted my life for the better).
It was the little things that turned into the big things that ultimately made me want to continue this journey at the University of Maryland.
That's not even the end of it, though. When I look back on all of the memories of my freshman year, there is not just one day that stands out. When I would go to bed every night, I would thank God for what He has given me and showed me. I took it day by day, and all of a sudden, the year was over.
Today, I started reminiscing about going to the football, soccer, and basketball games, and being the Terps' number 1 fan. I thought about all the times my roommate and I took late-night food sprees to the 24-hour shop. I remembered all the times I went to Bible study and opened my heart to a force that was too strong to hide. I remember learning how to use the metro system to go to Washington D.C. for architecture projects, and also how to take a public bus back to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I started looking at pictures I took of the view of out of my 7th floor dorm room, which I absolutely loved (in the cover photo of this article, you can see my freshman dorm straight back in the middle there). I also think about the amount of information I learned this year, not only academically, but about who I am.
Although I am extremely ecstatic to be home with my family, boyfriend, and friends, I feel like I will still have that longing for "home" at UMD. I am actually excited to see what my future holds through that school with my future career as an architect, and my future life in general. It is crazy to me that I can say that confidently now, as opposed to lying to family and friends when they asked me at Thanksgiving dinner, "so, are you loving college?" The truth was, no, I didn't. But I did not hate it neither. I was apathetic and didn't give it a chance. But I know now that all along, there was a reason I chose to be a Maryland Terrapin.
I am blessed for the gifts God has given me. I truly learned to love my school. Go Terps!
