Stop Body-Shaming Me Because I Love To Show Off My Body And Skin
Body Positivity

To The Girl Who Said I Can't Show Off What I Have Because It 'Sends The Wrong Message,' THAT'S The Wrong Message

To conform is to bow down; to express is to live.


I recently read an article entitled "He Wants You For Your Body, And You're Letting Him." The author's message hits on things, such as, clothing that shows off one's boobs, butt or hips, and then reaches the extreme of degrading women's social image.

I did not get very far before wanting to scream my opinion on her face.

The writer proclaims, "I've seen so many videos of girls at parties wearing nothing, and showing everything. Dancing, letting all of their "girlness" hang out and not caring who sees."

My response: No.

What you have seen are videos of human beings enjoying their life without looking over their shoulder. You have seen women with confidence and freedom. How? Because these women aren't trying to follow the rules set in society by people with closed-minds. They aren't looking at their male counterparts and trying to be modest while the men raid for hours on end.

Why is it acceptable for a man to party shirtless, heck, even pant-less in front of thousands, but is a shame for women to let loose in the same manner?

The writer's advice says, "If you want them to fall for your personality, then show them things that represent you. Show them your pets and your favorite food. Talk to them about what interests you and makes you smile."

My advice: Be yourself and if someone is genuinely interested in getting to know you, on a deeper level, they will make the effort to do so. No one can be read solely by the outside and it's not like people are rushing up to you screaming, "WHAT'S YOUR PERSONALITY LIKE?" The writer's advice was inspired by a friends Instagram, which she says is filled with, "pictures of her in bikinis, standing and facing the water, sitting down and stretching. Pictures of her drunk at parties in a shirt so low, you could see all of the jewels on her bra." I wonder if she ever stopped and thought that perhaps the advice she was giving was being followed, but she was too blind to see it.

Pictures in bathing suits near/in water convey her friends love to be beach-side. A post of her sitting down and stretching shows that she is active and may have an interest in yoga and overall fitness. Drunk at a party? So she likes to let go and have a good time with friends, every once in awhile. Where is the harm in that? "Shirt so low, you could see all of the jewels on her bra." ... and? your point? One chooses an outfit that expresses themselves and makes them feel good. If she's wearing it, she's comfortable in it, she most likely picked it out, and she feels amazing in it. Let's not forget the dreaded bejeweled bra slip!


I mean, seriously, it's a bra... and, even if it wasn't, who cares? It's her body. She's not bothered by the exposure of her underclothing or lack of. After all, she is the one who uploaded it to the internet. It's not your account nor is it your boobs, legs, etc. so why are you bothered?

As much as I would LOVE to share the rest of the article in all of its glory... let's be honest, we all have headaches by now.

Instead, I think it would be much more enjoyable for me to clap back and let that be the end of this.

As a female, you are told your entire life to cover up, be modest, be less than, and support. School dress codes keep you from feeling the breeze of air conditioning on a hot day, because "it may disrupt a male classmates learning experience." As we mature, the number of times we're told to keep our legs closed could build a safari. Meanwhile, our male "EQUALS" are praised for their first kiss, touch, lick, hit, dream, or swing involving a woman. We are shamed and barred while the male runs free.

I have some news for everyone, it is NOT 1930. We have marched, fought, and crawled our way to independence. Nothing we do is solely for the purpose of male attention. We like what we like, post what we post, and wear what we want to wear. It is not our fault that the men of the world have been coddled and treat every passing body like a three-year-old in an art exhibit. Nor is it our duty to hold ourselves in so that they may put down the Playboy and go to work.

Rather than blaming women for being treated like objects, how about we start reprimanding men that do so? Instead of pointing out every piece of skin on a women's body and sexualizing it down to the very first atom, start teaching boys to keep it in their pants.

And if you are still confused, dear writer, on why women are tired of men complimenting their bodies, have you ever thought that it's not the compliment that bothers us, rather it is us knowing that it was said in a derogatory way for a derogatory purpose or in a suggestive way for a hyper-sexual purpose. It's not the compliment that draws anger, it's the fact that men have not shown that they can speak of these things without going too far.

For example, the same statement can be made to a female from women, that is not sexually attracted to her, and a smile may be given in response. Why? Because we know they are simply appreciating the art that is the human body and is doing someone a service by lifting their self-confidence with a few words.

In conclusion, (yes, I am indeed ending this in a high school research paper format) women do not let men do anything. They are human, just like the rest of us. They choose to see, hear, and read into things how they would like. While everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I do believe you formed yours without considering both sides. A Hooters girl telling women they are the cause of unwanted attention and should take action to change that is, well, ironic.

Blaming other females for robust body parts they did not ask for leading to catcalls is sad. As women, we need to stick together, always. The fact of the matter is: even if women were to do as you suggested and only post pictures emphasizing their pets or favorite food, there will always be a man that will turn it into a sexual frenzy. That's the world we live in.

Dear author,

Here's what you should have said: He Wants You For Your Body And Society Doesn't See The Error In That.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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