When I found out that my brother had "come out of the closet," I was upset. Why would he choose this for himself, can't he change his mind? “Maybe it's just a phase," I would tell myself. I was hurt, after all these years that I had stood up for him, I felt that he was deciding to finally give in to the bullies who mocked him for being feminine. I felt that he had conformed to their hateful words and in a way let them choose his sexuality for him. Being raised in the LDS church I had it engrained in my mind that being gay was very wrong and a decision that was looked down on by not only the members of the community but by God himself.
Now that I knew my brother, my best friend, was a part of this group I wanted to understand. One question that was in the back of my head through the process of accepting him for who he is was whether or not people are "born gay." Since the initial confusion and frustration, I have grown tremendously in accepting not only my brother but many others for who they are. After learning of my brother's sexual orientation I have had many discussions with him as well as done my own research both online and in my heart. Finally over time, and many changes in life, my views have changed and my mind opened on the heated debate of homosexuality's origin.
I want nothing but happiness and true love to find its way to my brother's life and will do anything and everything in my power to help him feel comfortable in who he is. I have come to develop a strong appreciation for his strength and ability to be so true to who he is. His knowledge in who he is at such a young age has truly become an inspiration to me in a way I never could have imagined. However, I often forget that just because his family accepts him doesn't mean he doesn't still face discrimination from others who have not come to terms with the fact that our sexuality is not a choice.
In this article, I'd like to share parts of a (not so greatly written) essay I wrote in high school on the topic. Although it is not my best writing I am sharing it in optimism that it inspires others to do some research of their own. I am hopeful that in my lifetime I see a society that is safe and supportive for those in the LGBTQ community including my brother.
Homosexual: (of a person) sexually attracted to people of one's own sex.
To Love: feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone)." (Dictonary.com)
The way we are raised is a huge part of who we are and who we will become. Finding ourselves and our personal beliefs become complicated by the ideas of our parents. Place of upbringing, religion, parenting, interests, are all a few others of the many things that impact our views and actions throughout our lives. For example, a child raised by say, two dads will grow up being accustomed to the idea of "love is love" and there is no assigned gender to marriage. Whereas a child growing up in a home of strict religious background will be most likely taught that "a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife."(Genesis 2:24), meaning that marriage should be between a man and a woman. These ideas taught by their parents and mentors from young ages and will influence them for life. Studies have shown that neither child is at an advantage or disadvantage compared to one another. It doesn't quite matter what the gender of your parents is, it matters how they raise you. A neglected or abusive home with a mom and a dad is not a better environment for a child than a gay home.
I have found in my research that there seem to be two main sides to the argument that I have decided to focus on. There are those who think that homosexuality is a chosen sexual orientation. They often say that they feel LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) members have an illness and believe it can and should be cured. Then there are those who feel that everyone should be accepted for who they are. These people often those that see the attraction to the same sex as something that some are born with feeling. There are actually many scientists and psychologists who stand on this side of the debate. They have found even some animals have some sexual tending. That's right, humans are not the only species that has same-sex relations. At the Edinburgh zoo, according to UK mirror news, "a pair of male flamingos adopted a fluffy grey newborn chick after it was knocked out of the nest by its parents."
The topics of love, gay rights, ethics, and human equality are all a few of many hot topics in our society today that can be put into the subject category of homosexuality. So why would someone choose to put themselves through the pain, hate, losses, and evils of the world if they didn't really feel what they say they do for others of the same sex as them? If people weren't born gay how would there be gay Christians for example. If they are told all their life that being gay is wrong why would they want their family to turn away from them? Why would someone choose to live a life of discrimination and constant fear of being harmed by others? Many even say they wish they could change how they feel. Hannahbrooke30, a writer stated in a post on debate.org "Trust me if I could change I would. My own family looks down on me because of this..."
If gays choose to be gay, then when did you choose to be straight?
