My Adoption Papers Were Signed With Blood

My adoption papers were signed with blood.

I remember the day I came home. The joy. The indescribable, overwhelming joy! I now had a Daddy that lavishly loves me in ways in which mere words are not worthy to depict.

The father that had custody over me was emotionally abusive. He is the father of lies and rejection. His retinas are black holes, greedy to devour joy and self-esteem. My father shackled me and starved me of love.

But my Daddy noticed me. His heart intensely burned with an aching compassion. He knew adoption was the only way I could escape from my father.

So He fervently prayed about it. There were times He would pray all night. He asked for wisdom and strength to endure the lengthy, arduous adoption process.

When the time came, he took my father to court. My father was incredulous that anybody would choose to be my dad. He listed off every mess and moment of my disobedience in excruciating detail. He even included the blemishes I had so cleverly kept hidden. Temper tantrums, back talk, attitudes, testing boundaries, all of it.

But my Daddy just smiled and said, “I know.” Then He approached the Judge and continued, “That is why I paid all of the adoption fees with My blood.” The Judge and my Daddy held a brief conversation at the bench. My father was then declared unfit to be a parent and was required to surrender his parental rights.

The first few years with my Daddy were quite an adjustment for me. New rules. New expectations. Unconditional love. Completely different life. I'm learning though. He's teaching me how to navigate this new life. Sometimes the ways of my father resurface in my actions. But progress prevails.

My Daddy and I get to spend a lot of time together. I watch Him while He works. I try to do what He does, but imitation requires a lot of practice, especially since He’s the King of Kings! Teaching people how to love sincerely and deeply is tough work- demonstrations, administering tests, Sunday lectures, discipline. He's constantly healing and revealing who He is. And He has adoption appointments every day.

He has added so many brothers and sisters to our family. I've only met a fraction of them! They are amazing. They have given so much to me. Laughter, love, acceptance, ice cream, correction …...even the occasional opportunity to exercise forgiveness. My world would be a tornado if they weren't there to stabilize me with my Daddy's love.

I try to reciprocate all they have done. I accept their craziness. I love to laugh with them. I correct them and call them to repentance for delighting in vile and wicked things like coffee. But I’ve still received more than I have given.

Ultimately, though, I have received the most from my Daddy. He has loved me at my worst so that He can bring out the best in me. He has gently whispered His Truths to drown out my father's lies. He is the only One who knows the amount of hairs on my head and hurts in my heart. The only One who can fully soothe those hurts. The only One that can save me from my self.