Moving into college is hard in general, but having to move into a new dorm without your support system is way harder for me. However, the moving part was natural, but saying goodbye was hard.

My mom is a K-5 teacher teaching MI/MO, and I had to move in on a Tuesday, which meant I had to do it alone because everyone else was working too. When I found out my move-in date, but my emotions were turned from excitement to sadness because I wanted my mom to be there when I move in, because she is my rock and it was going to be stressful. She has dealt with everything I've been through, not doing something like this with her crushed me.

Not only that, but I don't want her to feel used because we went shopping for back-to-school stuff and without her there, I felt like I took her money and abandoned her, and left without a trace. That is the worst feeling in the world; I appreciate everything she does for me, and I owe her the world, and she deserves it too.

I wanted her to be with me when I moved in not because I needed help, (shout out to the move-in volunteers and my chapter's president Maggie Kooi for helping me) it was because I needed her there emotionally. I needed her to give her approval that she understands and supports me flying the coop for nine months and during the time I'm gone I will be visiting her a few times.

Although she comes to visit me on August 18th, it still doesn't feel the same as if she came to help me with move-in. I want to feel the same feeling that she is going to feel when she walks in. I know she'll be excited to see my dorm and me, but I know she is sad because she wasn't able to set me up.

The thoughts are hard and I know she doesn't feel used, but I need the reassurance from her to know that it is okay and that she is okay.