The decision to move home after my the Fall 2018 semester wasn't one made on a whim. Contrary to what most people think, this also wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of tears and stress have gone into this decision as well as changed minds and concern.
My decision to move home to go to community college the Spring of my Freshman year of college has been an important and scary decision for me to make. It has been supported (without pressure) from my family members, and it's been a difficult process in deciding whether I wanted to go to community college or attempt a transfer to another four-year university. It has been a decision based on what is best for me and my mental health as well as my family members.
Moving home one semester into college does not make me weak, and if you're considering it, it doesn't make you weak either. It makes you human to have doubts about the big decision you've made to move away from everything you've ever known and begun a stressful period of your life that you feel like affects your entire future directly. If you're confused about what you want to do, where you want to be, and why you're even at college, you're completely normal. You are strong, and you are capable of making the right decision.
The right decision for me is by no means the right decision for everyone. As someone who has struggled to keep her mental health in check for years, I had to slow down and realize that college and being away from home was eating me alive. Knowing that I can help my family by moving home as well as myself helped me to make this decision.
Leaving Mississippi State University, a place I've grown to love very quickly is not what I would have imagined I'd be doing half a year into college. Leaving my sorority sisters and amazing friends I've grown to love isn't what I would've imagined, and I most definitely never guessed I would be leaving my amazing roommate. I have been blessed to attend Mississippi State University, and I will always be thankful for the ability to come to school at the most amazing University in the Southeastern Conference.
I am not leaving MSU because I am incapable of taking care of myself and being on my own- that couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, I've been taking care of myself for a while now. I've maintained a 4.0 (so far... finals are almost upon us, send up some prayers); I've become healthier; I get plenty of sleep every night, and I do all of my homework. I am one of the least irresponsible people I know. I don't party, drink, smoke, etc. (no hate to anyone who does, I just don't care for it myself). I work hard to better myself every single day, and that won't change when I go home.
My decision to leave Mississippi State University is a decision built completely on my need for sanity. I believe that my mental health could be in jeopardy if I continue at MSU, and that's not a risk I'm willing to take. I recognize the fact that many people will not agree with my decision, and will, in fact, laugh and judge me for coming back home. Many people will make assumptions about the reasons why I am doing this, but that's okay too.
I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to begin acting for myself. I believe that college is the time to be selfish. You do what YOU want and need. It isn't the time to think about anyone else- family, friends, or otherwise. I have preached the importance of being yourself over and over, and now it is time for me to take my own advice. Mississippi State University will always hold a piece of my heart, and I figure I will find myself back on campus for athletics because now that I've picked up the cowbell I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back.
To my amazing friends that I've made since coming to MSU, thank you for being the best friends a girl could ask for. You're all so wonderful and I know that I can always count on you to keep me laughing, even when I need to be doing that paper that's due tomorrow.
To Sara, thank you for being my absolute best friend on campus. It may be because we've been forced to live in a shoebox together for the past five months, but I wouldn't trade these months for the world. I admire your hardworking attitude and your focus on schoolwork when I'm watching Netflix (again)...
To my sorority sisters... I can't even start with this one because it makes me emotional just thinking about it. You're the best sisters I could've ever asked for, and I'm so thankful that I have gotten to know each of you individually. You all have changed my life for the better, and I'll definitely be back to see all of you soon!
I am so thankful that I have had the opportunity to attend such an outstanding University. MSU will always be a part of me, and there is no doubt in my mind that I will miss being there; however, I must make the decision that is in my best interest. In order for me to become the best part of myself, I have to leave. This is in no way a rash, easy decision. Quite the contrary.
If you are considering leaving your University I hope you will take the time to think about it. I hope that you will take the time to think about the good and the bad of your institution, and will ultimately make the right decision for you. I hope that you will think about yourself, and talk with your family, because they want what's best for you ultimately. It's not an easy decision to make, but you will ultimately have a peace within your heart that reminds you that this is best. Be true to yourself, and do what you think will make you happy. I promise everything will work out in the end.