Believe it or not, Chad Michael Murray hasn't won many Oscars lately. Or ever. Sadly, the truth is that he's fallen quite a bit from his 2004 glory days. And while he's busy pretending that he's super preoccupied promoting his novel, "tale of passion and danger," and "American Drifter," we all know that he's probably itchin' to get back to his rank as our humble, squinty teen king. To help him out, I've written seven starring roles that I think he could Chad Michael Crush.
1. Logan Kennedy
Logan is just a regular 36-year-old boy trying to navigate junior high. But between bullies, pop quizzes
2. Trent Mahalo
Kauai born and raised, Trent lives and breathes surfing. He doesn't need an iPod because he has the hum of the island winds. Also having an iPod would be impractical because he's always in the waves, brah! Life is all fun and games until he gets attacked by a shark and wakes up fifty years in the past, trapped in the body of former president John F. Kennedy.
3. Dr. Tyler Dubois
Dr. Dubois is an eager professor trying to change the lives of inner-city college students. He's teaching them to write, even though the world has already written them off. But the students aren't the only ones with difficult lives. After class, Tyler goes home to his 23 children that he's raising as a single father, one of whom is the late John F. Kennedy.
4. Enzo Costantini
Enzo is just a humble Italian man who runs a pasta restaurant in Brooklyn with his wife, Collette. His life is perfect except for one thing: his agonizing insomnia. His sleep deprivation is hurting not only his marriage but his business. One sleepless night, he decides to go down to the restaurant and work on some new dishes. But when he gets there, he finds the ghost of Jack Kennedy making the most impeccable spaghetti noodles he's ever seen.
5. Alistair Allegory
Allistair is a chess prodigy. With his talent, he could easily be ranked as the top chess player in the world. Only one problem: he plays by his own rules. Also one other problem: halfway through the movie he is possessed by the soul of diseased Democrat John F. Kennedy and, as it turns out, JFK don't know a pawn from a chess piece that isn't a pawn!
6. Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson
Through some "Parent Trap" style editing, CMM plays all three of the Hanson brothers in a biopic about the "MMMBop" era. Like all biopics, there will have to be some "Hollywood" drama added to the storyline to keep the audience intrigued. In this case, that will include a storyline about Taylor having an addiction to drag racing and a short stint where they let JFK be their drummer.
7. Jake
Chad reprises his role as Jake in a "Freaky Friday" sequel. But this time, instead of Lindsay Lohan, JLC is swappin' skin sacks with JFK!
