When the calendar says it’s almost October, but the thermometer says it’s a preheated oven.
When you dream of sweaters, but there’s not enough deodorant and AC in the world to make that dream a reality.
When Target’s Fall Decor section is all burnt oranges, warm yellows, and browns, but you know, in your heart of hearts, that outside all the trees and bushes are still stupidly green.
When your heart says hot coffee and apple cider, but your internal body temperature says, “Bury me in slushies and milkshakes”
When going apple picking is fun and everything, but halfway through, you either have to take your flannel off and tie it around your waist or die of heatstroke, and it really ruins your overall aesthetic.
When boots and fuzzy socks are life, but you know your Chaco tan isn’t going anywhere for another month or two.
When you’re already praying for cool weather on Thanksgiving so you can wear a baggy sweater that hides your pie and stuffing pooch but still looks cute.
When you’re high key jealous of your friends who live in places where the official first day of fall isn’t just propaganda and lies.
When shaving your legs is socially ingrained in you as long as you wear shorts, and you’re just waiting until winter when you can perpetually cover your legs and your razor budget can chill for a few months.
When you’re willing to trade water parks for staying inside, drinking hot chocolate, and not doing anything, because that is a perfectly acceptable trade and summer is overrated.
When tv networks start airing movies that get you in the mood for fall, but reality punches you in the face with a heat wave the second you walk outside.
When Halloween is everything to you, but you’d rather not have it if it’s going to be 70 degrees on October 31.
When the weather trolls you with fall-ish temperatures for a few days, and you foolishly let yourself believe.
When picking pumpkins is only fun if the pumpkin doesn’t have the same internal temperature as you.
When you’re ready to commit solely to an autumn color palette, but you’re not prepared to wear dark oranges, greens, and blacks in 90 degree weather.
When you would burn every pair of shorts you own if the sacrifice would appease the weather gods into giving you seasonally appropriate weather.
When coffeeshops are trying to sell you ~seasonal~ drinks, but you’re too salty to fully appreciate them.
When you want to hide your second-day hair with a beanie, but head sweat is a wretched and very real issue.
When you want to sit next to your fireplace and be generally cozy, but you can’t be cozy when your soul is weighed down with a hatred of summer.
When you’re over summer and way too ready for fall, but you have to stay low-key or else people will start making pumpkin spice latte jokes and you just don’t want to fight today.
