As I write this, I feel like I've been staring at my computer screen for a couple hours. I'm being semi-productive, doing research on some various papers that I have due in a couple weeks, or perhaps I'm finding myself procrastinating off onto Youtube, looking for some videos that could catch my interest, or even something that could inspire me to look more into a certain topic or at least occupy my time for a little while. And yet, somehow, no matter what I did, nothing really felt like it I was doing anything. Not truly invested in whatever it was that I was doing.

I mean, I should be invested in this stuff right? I'm obviously focused enough to switch videos on Youtube, to change the song that I'm listening to, or to go to different tabs on the screen, to skim an article that somehow manages to relate to a subject that I'm studying in class. Yet, it was difficult to mind the motivation to truly get invested in it. Naturally, I should be invested right? Some of the stuff I'm doing on such a night as this could drastically impact how I do the rest of the semester. Whether I spent an extra few minutes studying for a test or going the extra mile in regards to research on a test. I always want my time to be time well spent, and when it's not such a case, I feel utterly unproductive, and honestly kinda useless.

But that raises a question in my mind, is it better to be stuck in this semi-productive state while I work tirelessly on things that relate to my life, or is better to take the time to not really focus on productivity or work, and take time to do things that I enjoy. Even if it's something as simple eating my favorite food that I've been craving for the past couple of hours, having an engaging conversation with a friend, or even just reading a book.

One thing that I've noticed as I've matured, is that time to do previous things seems harder and harder to find. Naturally, as we advance in age we also advance in workload. Which, does in several respects make time to taking a breather harder to find. As such, I think instead of using such a time to focus so much on this workload that does exist before me, and during said time not be as productive or as motivated as I should be, would be better spent doing something else. Doing something that I find myself wanting to put energy into, something that would get me excited when I see. Something that I feel motivated to continue doing.

Now, sometimes we can't always find motivation when we need. Sometimes we just really don't care about some things that are in our lives, such as a homework assignment or getting the latest iPhone. At others time, some important things can happen that we need to find the motivation and investment, that simply may not have been there, to begin with. But other times? When that motivation isn't there when one simply can't focus on a particular subject or get invested in a little? Then, for the time being, take the time you have, and use it for something that you can find the motivation and energy for. Because if you had to choose between having a chance to watch a new episode of your favorite TV show vs writing a paper that isn't due just yet. I think the choice is obivious.