I still feel a bit hesitant to write this article, but nevertheless, I sit here and I am trying to come up with some conglomeration of words I may be able to throw together to ease the pain of those reading.

I've become familiar with the loss of a parent. Specifically, my mother.

When a daughter loses a mother, she loses the stability that her life once held. She loses comforting arms and wise words. When a daughter loses a mother, she loses her best friend, she loses her confidante, and she loses the one woman who loved her the very first. When you lose your mother, you lose a vital part of your development and lots of late night chats, and history lessons, and her little quirks, like how she always asks 1,000 questions about the movie you're watching instead of just asking. You lose that smell of sweet peas and the crunch of autumnal leaves that signaled her (always late) arrival to thanksgiving. You lose the person that was able to help you pick out your prom dress and nag at you for showing your shoulders.

When a mother loses a daughter, however, she's lost the very person she created. When a mother loses a daughter, she misses the sugar and spice and the high pitched squeals as she argues with her sibling. When you lose a child, you lose the little noses you had to wipe, the band-aids on scraped knees. You the little voice that, no matter how many mistakes she made in her life, was still good and was still your girl. You will desperately wish to speak to her once again, just to let her know that mama loves her so much, and if you could have done anything or taken her place, you would.

With that being said, when I lost my mother, here's what I gained:

I gained independence.
I gained insight.
I gained spirituality.
I gained appreciation for those around me.
I gained a whole lot of love and comfort from those around me.
I gained the ability to appreciate the sweet memories.

I learned that if my mother could have done anything to make my life easier, she would have. If she could take away the pain, she would. If she wanted anything at all, she wanted me to know how incredibly much she loved me, and how she never wanted me to regret a damn thing in my life.

Lastly, for all the struggling mothers who have lost a daughter, and daughters who have lost mothers:

It is my hope that you gain love, insight, spirituality, and all the other things that make life so beautiful. It's hard to believe now, but you will gain so much more than you expected. Your loved one is looking down on you and she is proud, watching her legacy move forward and impact so many people. Never for a second feel guilty for anything in this world, because pain usually comes bearing gifts.

For the time being? Love yourself. Don't compromise yourself. Don't forget to take care of yourself.

She would be proud.